Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Sad

Today I lay in the dental chair, the worker (assistant?  hygenist?) scraping away at my teeth, the taste of cherry blood filling my mouth... ugh.

I called Lou the Cabdriver (great guy) last night and arranged 2 trips today.  Car people get upset when they hear I "have" to do this, but this is my life.  My mother harmed my brain, I can't drive.  So I adapt. 

I prefer to focus on the adaptation. 

He came on time.  Ron was angry because I would not give Lou money to buy alcohol.  He came out and gave Lou the money, himself. 

Ron was pretty upset about that.  Pretty drunk, definitely verbally abusive, all day.  I was happy when he finally did pass out.

I was happy to get out of the house, even to the dentist.  I had Lou drop me at the Walmart nearby.  I bought a pair of jeans in my size, bootcut, medium rise, black - very cute.  Combine them with my black scrub cargo pants and I have my entire winter wardrobe.

I walked over the dentist.  They were running a little late, but that's OK.  I didn't have Ron pitching fits.  He did call me at one point, very affectionate (he swings from deeply affectionate and appreciative, to completely hostile and abusive, when drinking).

The other patients jumped when they heard my cell phone meowing.  Apparently I'm the only person in Houston with a meowing "ringtone".

I have that one, for Ron.  I have "Alive" by POD for Andy, the sandwich guy.   I want to get "Hey, it's your drug dealer!" for the pharmacy.

They led me back and put me in the cleaning room.  I got a look at the tools.  They confirmed I would be getting scraped.  She applied cherry-flavored local anesthetic to my gums.  My mouth was pretty dry from the Wellbutrin, so I didn't wash it off.

Then, she got to work.  It took a while.  It didn't hurt much, but it's never fun to have someone holding my lower jaw, pushing it down, and scraping.  She did give me breaks to relax my jaw muscles.  She had a good touch.

I have "bad spots" around one incisor, my back molars, and the upper right quadrant.  For some reason, my gum issues are a lot better on the lower jaw.  When she got to the hot spots, I started bleeding.  I could taste the blood and cherries on my tongue.  It's going to be a while before I have cherries again!

Then, she rinsed, but didn't spray on my glasses like a lot do.  Thumbs up for that.

Then the clorhexa-something, applied into my tender pockets, so they don't get infected.  I should probably take some more olive leaf tonight.

I've got 3 or four sore spots, but nothing like I had last time.  I imagine I'll be "fine" tomorrow.

I went to Walmart.  Ron called me a couple times, but was so drunk he kept hanging up on himself.  Don't hurry home, I thought.

I remembered everything, ground flax to help with mammary tenderness, drain cleaner, cat toy, mouthwash and flossers, and some food.  Nothing too firm.

I looked at everything I wanted, found everything I wanted, and spent a reasonable amount of money.  I love Walmart.  I even had a nice cashier.  I made my bank deposit, called Lou (ready in about 15 minutes!), bought some chicken nuggets, and a shake.  I figured I might get sore later (I was right), better to get my Big Meal now and take my medication when I got home. 

Lou told me how he'd brought Ron the liquor, how Ron had put the bottles on his walker because they were too heavy to carry, and kind of left it open ended.  I said I wished Ron didn't drink, I haven't ever seen alcohol improve someone, but he was a grown man. 

I mention I don't drink because I'm terrified of addiction.  

I did keep it classy, especially when everyone (dentist, Walmart) asked if Ron was "alright".  I could have used a lot of nasty comebacks.  I didn't. 

I just said he was "good" and "wanted to stay home today". 

We got home, I paid Lou, and unloaded my stuff.  I got 3 cases of Bibles - waiting on the porch.  I put them away.  I put away the cold stuff.  Once I did that I decided to use my Liquid Plumb'r Slow Flow down the drain.  Biscuit LEAPED up on the counter and tried to smell the caustic chemicals as they flowed from the container.  I screamed "NO!" and snatched him with my other hand.  That boy almost gave me a heart attack! 

A few hours later, the formerly very sluggish sink is now roaring like it should.  Whatever was in there was digested and eliminated! 

Next time I use drain cleaner, I will put Biscuit on lockdown. 

I fed Ron some lunch, which he liked.  I was wonderful, he slurred.  I told him I was taking a nap, which he promptly forgot. 

I didn't mind him calling in the trips (albeit very loud and drunkenly), but I did mind him calling back later and shouting they had gotten the address wrong (I'm sure it was his fault).  I shut his door.  He found it closed, later, and woke me up (a third time) shouting about it.   After that, he used the bathroom and passed out in his bed (thank God we have separate beds). 

I gave up and got up, running water down my "new" drain.  At least something is working, in my life! 

I did some organizing, watched a little TV, did some housework, took out the trash, etc.  Then, online. 

What a day. 

I'm actually starting to prefer work days (has to stay sober) to days off (starts drinking the minute he gets up).  And that's sad. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you are so strong Heather. Much love sent

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