They're suicidal, but I don't want to call 911

Here's how it goes:

"Heather, my friend is suicidal, talking about ending it all.  What should I do?"

"You need to call 911 and tell them, what you told me."

"I can't do that!  They'll put him in a mental hospital!  He's just having a hard time!   Come on, what do I say to him to pull him out of this?"

"You tell him, you are calling 911."

You think that's fun?  Imagine the reaction I got here:  I knew of a woman with bipolar disorder.  Although she had severe symptoms, she swore they were controlled with a special diet.  Frankly, she just seemed like every other person, off their meds: miserable and out of control.

One night she was drinking, taking sleeping pills, and said she wouldn't stop until she had finished the bottle of wine, and the sleeping pills.  I was messaged.   They wanted me to "Talk her out of it".

I said "She needs to be in a hospital, let the moderator know so they can contact 911 and send paramedics."  It is possible for the police to get someone's address from their IP address, which is logged on message boards.

It got back to her and she was furious.  "Who are you to say..."  I just repeated what I'd been told:  You were drinking and taking sleeping pills, stating you wanted to kill yourself.  I just did what anyone should have done.

Suicide is a leading cause of death for some age groups.  36,909 people killed themselves, in America, in 2009.  That's awful.  That's a whole town.  A million people attempt suicide every year.  Half of all people with bipolar disorder attempt suicide in their lifetimes.

Source 1

Source 2

You think your friend is in trouble.  What do you do?

WARNING SIGNS:

Recognize the Imminent Dangers

The signs that most directly warn of suicide include:

• Threatening to hurt or kill oneself
• Looking for ways to kill oneself (weapons, pills or other means)
• Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide
• Has made plans or preparations for a potentially serious attempt

Other warning signs include expressions or other indications of certain intense feelings in addition to depression, in particular:

• Insomnia
• Intense anxiety, usually exhibited as psychic pain or internal tension, as well as panic attacks
• Feeling desperate or trapped -- like there's no way out
• Feeling hopeless
• Feeling there's no reason or purpose to live
• Rage or anger

Certain behaviors can also serve as warning signs, particularly when they are not characteristic of the person's normal behavior. These include:

• Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities
• Engaging in violent or self-destructive behavior
• Increasing alcohol or drug use
• Withdrawing from friends or family

[copied from source 1]

OK, they have a problem.  What do you do?
(credit source 1 again)

Take it Seriously

• Fifty to 75 percent of all suicides give some warning of their intentions to a friend or family member.
• Imminent signs must be taken seriously.

Be Willing to Listen

• Start by telling the person you are concerned and give him/her examples.
• If he/she is depressed, don't be afraid to ask whether he/she is considering suicide, or if he/she has a particular plan or method in mind.
• Ask if they have a therapist and are taking medication.
• Do not attempt to argue someone out of suicide. Rather, let the person know you care, that he/she is not alone, that suicidal feelings are temporary and that depression can be treated. Avoid the temptation to say, "You have so much to live for," or "Your suicide will hurt your family."

Seek Professional Help

• Be actively involved in encouraging the person to see a physician or mental health professional immediately.
• Individuals contemplating suicide often don't believe they can be helped, so you may have to do more.
• Help the person find a knowledgeable mental health professional or a reputable treatment facility, and take them to the treatment.

In an Acute Crisis

• If a friend or loved one is threatening, talking about or making plans for suicide, these are signs of an acute crisis.
• Do not leave the person alone.
• Remove from the vicinity any firearms, drugs or sharp objects that could be used for suicide.
• Take the person to an emergency room or walk-in clinic at a psychiatric hospital.
• If a psychiatric facility is unavailable, go to your nearest hospital or clinic.
• If the above options are unavailable, call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Follow-up on Treatment

• Suicidal individuals are often hesitant to seek help and may need your continuing support to pursue treatment after an initial contact.
• If medication is prescribed, make sure your friend or loved one is taking it exactly as prescribed. Be aware of possible side effects and be sure to notify the physician if the person seems to be getting worse. Usually, alternative medications can be prescribed.
• Frequently the first medication doesn't work. It takes time and persistence to find the right medication(s) and therapist for the individual person.

Source 2: 

What should I do if I think someone is suicidal?

If you think someone is suicidal, do not leave him or her alone. Try to get the person to seek immediate help from his or her doctor or the nearest hospital emergency room, or call 911. Eliminate access to firearms or other potential tools for suicide, including unsupervised access to medications.

A suicidal person is a medical emergency.  It is no different from a stroke or a heart attack.  If you, or someone you love, is having trouble, get help!  

I did!  As a result, I have a much better life!  

Yeah, it was a little weird telling the emergency room I was suicidal, but they were very nice about it.  I walked out of there with a plan and a diagnosis that literally saved my life, my job, and my marriage.  

I'm glad I went.  I'm glad I made the call.  

And you will be, too.