And Spotty is being clingy today which is sweet.
Sweetie is in and out. He is, I think, used to yelling at a door for entrance. It is taking a little adjustment to the fact he can just let himself in and out as he pleases. He seems to do OK getting out. We'll see.
I don't want him reliant on me because the weather could turn or whatever. He needs to be able to get in on his own. Independent Living philosophy.
I worked in the Independent Living movement for a while. Most of it is commendable; people with various challenges trying to live as independently as possible. They have done a lot about getting legislation passed like the ADA. Some of it I don't agree with.
I remember Ron used to go on about a couple different groups, people in wheelchairs, "They ask for too much" the gist of his argument, until he was sitting in a wheelchair. Much like my attitude about people with peanut allergies, until I developed one. God has a way of balancing things.
Anyway one day after he came home from the hospital he wanted Chinese food. The bus stop was about a mile away. We had to go up and down off several curbs and Ron was worried how we would handle it. I assured him "Those people in wheelchairs" had paved the way, so to speak, for "curb cuts" (proper name) and wheelchair ramps. And sure enough they had. I reminded him of some old school stories I had heard of activists in wheelchairs and their allies blowing up curbs to make their own curb cut. There was a "radical" group that did that (as in far left not "cool"). I forget the name of the group but Ron thought they were pretty cool after that. I want to say it was ADAPT.
Ron never got online. He was a realist. He knew he was a sex addict and frankly stated to me "I will find the wrong thing online and f&*k things up with you, ruin my life, if I get online" and I respected that. So I would get online for him, file his reports (sales tax, etc.), download music for him (back when you did that), buy things for him on Amazon. But if he had been online he would have found that group, "liked" it, joined lots of message boards, and gotten banned from all of them.
When he would write me letters he would use a lot of ALL CAPS and many!!!! exclamation points! It made them hard to read. Not to mention it was all pretty much "I love you so much" and then 4 paragraphs of gaslighting. But he had a mouth and most of the time he didn't GAF what people thought.
He used to say he couldn't help being verbally abusive (not in those words of course) that I was just "too provoking" or he "couldn't help himself" and then he would play "wooden leg" "What do you expect from a guy with a head injury?"
Funny thing, he never cussed me out, verbally abused me, or hit me in front of authority figures. Or, generally, in public. That's how I figured out it was willful. The woman who attacked the bus driver in September, for instance, she went off on the (very kind and polite) officer who responded to the 911 call for help, cussing her out, shoving her, etc. She really couldn't help it. So they put her in cuffs and arrested her. She did take some (mental) help for a while, I think, to get out of the charges but last I saw her she was still running loose, delusional and confrontational as ever.
A lot has been said about my primary boss, who is taking some time off at present. But when she talks to me about "issues" she always states I am "very nice" and "sweet". So much for that, Ron. And this is a difficult woman.
I took some Aleve and a mucinex that seems to be helping somewhat. I think I have a low grade sinus infection. Everyone has been coughing on me lately it wouldn't surprise me.
I'm going to do some research and see if a Neti pot is useful for that or will make it worse. Seems to be OK. I will try it.
I just feel very draggy and no appetite -- which is always a sign I am sick.
No comments:
Post a Comment