Sunday afternoon

 I think I already talked about it; I had put some chicken, a seasoning packet, etc. in the crock pot Friday night.  The smell of it cooking overnight and into the next morning had me sick, sick, sick.  I am not really hungry yet but I had a taste and it seems good has a nice fire level.  

I have some basmati rice soaking and I will cook it in about half an hour.  

I laid out most of my clothes for tomorrow.  It's going to be pretty unpleasant.  Metro bus ought to be running they will text me if they're not.  I just need to find a pair of wool socks.  

I feel completely worn out.  I hope I have more energy tomorrow.  

It will be interesting to see how the weather affects my ride to work, the shoppers at work, will anyone on my team call out?  

If I have to I will save it for Thursday as it is rain+cold+wind that's a nasty trifecta.  

We will see.  

That's it for now.  

Video Blog

 

Well I took a nap

 With a couple of sweet fur babies.  

I woke up and my heater has arrived.  I tested it, it works.  Good.  

I got out my parka, knitted wrap (you could sleep in that thing), wool hat, gloves, etc. so I am set for the trips to work his week.  I'm not too worried about the next couple days but the end of the week we're going to have "cold rain" and nasty winds in addition to the cold.  That's going to be very unpleasant.  

I wanted to do some cooking but I'm not up for it.  I have a headache (not a migraine) and I'm still pretty weak.  

Overwork?  Stress?  I don't know.  It doesn't really matter the cure is the same, rest and try to do fun things that don't tax me.  

I'm still not really hungry, not a surprise considering what I was doing most of yesterday.  

I have 4 chicken thighs I need to do something with by tomorrow.  I'll figure it out.  

Sunday morning

 The problem with living alone, I'm the only one to take care of things.  For instance, groceries.  If I want to eat I need to go buy the food.  In today's case I could have had it delivered, though, but I'd still have to pick it out online, wait for it, and put it away.  

I also had to wrap the faucets to my hoses.  That's non negotiable.  

I have laundry that needs doing.  That's not looking good for today.  

I'm not having a pity party, I hate those.  But I have to be practical.  I still feel pretty terrible even though my head isn't hurting.  It's called the "post-ictal" phase of a migraine.  Seizure disorders have a post ictal phase as well.  After the seizure.  

I don't have seizures praise God.  

I cranked the budget numbers and bought myself a small space heater for the bathroom when I take my shower.  

I got up today, took my shower, did my God Time, got some laundry started (not in this order).  The grocery store opens at 7, I was there at 6:40, first person in line.  I almost got stampeded when the door opened, the people behind me.  

I got a nice pack of pork chops for $2.63, etc.  I got some pasta, ground turkey, etc, more tomato paste.  I found a nice beef shank for $5 so I got that and some bay leaves.  I got out of there just under budget and came home.  

I put the groceries away, didn't feel great, sat down a while, got up again and wrapped the hose things.  Came back in.  

Some nice person did my front yard for me.  They didn't like the arrangement of my trash cans and "fixed" them so I had to put them back.  I just don't have stamina today.  

I am not sure if it was all the holiday work, the lack of sleep the last few weeks, the migraine, vomiting half the day yesterday, or the maniac setting off fireworks last night but I am just out of gas.  

So things - like cooking and a lot of the laundry - are not going to happen today.  I have to take care of myself.  The cats are good, I just did their litter, water, food, Biscuit has a little milk in his bowl.  

That's it for now.  

That was pretty brutal

 Timeline: we have a weather front moving in today.  I ate a blueberry filled donut at work on Friday that had a very dark (added food dyes) filling.  I also cooked a spicy tomato dish in the crock pot overnight.  I woke up Saturday with the migraine which progressed to vomiting around noon.  It was an awful day only redeemed by the fact I didn't have to work.  

I have decided to cook the spicy tomato dishes during the day when I am away from home.  Avoid things with obvious added food dyes.  I can't do anything about the weather.  

Unfortunately that means I have to do my grocery shopping today.  It has to happen today as I work 6 days in a row this week, one day off, work a day, one day off, work 3 days, 2 days off.  I need something to eat.  

I feel very weak and wobbly today.  I have a policy not to eat until I get my appetite back as hard lessons have taught me I'll be hungry when my body is ready for food.  I am drinking some full sugar Gatorade.  

I am hoping to avoid a lot of the madness by being one of the first customers in the door today.  

Oh, just for fun yesterday I took a selfie after I finished throwing up around dinner time.  

Migraine

 Whenever I get a migraine I always wonder "What was the trigger?"  

We have a severe weather front coming tomorrow.  I ate a blueberry filled donut yesterday.  And I made some chicken tinga in the crock pot.  

For some reason I seem to get a migraine every time I fix a spicy chicken dish in the crock pot.  I had that problem pretty severely every time I used the Vindaloo curry powder, for instance, and now the Chicken Tinga.  I don't get that but I do know the food smell is aggravating the headache.  

I think it's a combination of all of it.  But I have plans this afternoon.  

I think I need to lie down again for a while.  

Friday night

 I am very happy with my day.  

I got up at 4 after about 5 hours sleep and went to work on the bus.  All my regular Monday - Wednesday drivers apparently have the same route on Friday morning as well, they were teasing me.  That was fun.  That said, they are all eagerly looking forward to their new routes.  

I got to work.  I helped customers.  I did the thing no one wants to do.  For once, I had the equipment I needed.  I was able to help the boss out by volunteering for a project she was dreading, and I was finishing it up when she got back from lunch.  She was thrilled.  

Even better, a friend called as I was clocking out (a woman), and offered me a ride home which I took.  On the way she stopped at my favorite taco place and got me takeout, which I gratefully accepted.  

Another friend has been anxious about some yard projects.  I texted her and offered to come over and help, she said please, will get me tomorrow afternoon.  So extracurriculars today and tomorrow.  Go, me, reaching out to other humans.  

I had some energy when I got home since I didn't have to spend 90 minutes on the bus.  I got the chicken started in the crock pot so I'll have something to eat tomorrow.  

I am running out of gas, that's it for now.  

I made it to work

 My usual drivers were surprised to see me.  

I am not worried about it being a bad day; but I am tired.  It's going to take a lot out of me today.  I'll make it though.  

That's it for now.  

Five hours of sleep

 I have to turn around and go back to work.  My bosses tried.  They wanted me later tonight... not the morning, but their boss was intractable.  "Work it as scheduled".  OK will do.  

Spotty - actually they all slept with me last night, that was sweet.  Spotty slept by my head.  Someone (can't see they're on the other side of the couch) is eating now which is good.  They don't like to eat when I'm gone.  They will but they prefer to eat when I'm around.  It was Spotty eating.  

I have a little bit of a headache.  I may lie down again for a little bit.  

I feel better, cleaned the litter box, shower, ready to go.  I'm wearing my trusty compression socks. Mukluk has some cute ones.  

My ride in to work

 The nausea is not improving.  

So my first bus goes past low income apartments.  You get the whole spectrum of passengers.  

A heavily made up woman, hair, nails, clothes all done up to impress.  Tight and sleazy which is a bad look as weighs at least what I do.  She gets on, doesn't pay, says "He has it".  A man follows her, he is dressed in one of those "leisure sweatsuits" they wear in the ghetto.  It is apparent neither is going to work.  He doesn't pay either and sits next to her.  She is obviously angry at him and asks why he did that.  

He points at me and says "She's so big she takes up all the seats". She laughed which encouraged him to make more comments about my weight.  Wondering aloud where I'm going.  Like I'm going to tell them.  Her phone rang and she put it on speaker.  

It is her CPS caseworker wanting to know why she missed her last appointment.  The woman laughs silently with her boyfriend, smirks, whines that "Something came up".  The caseworker is also discussing why she got fired from her last job and is she looking for work.  

The woman tells her "You're breaking up I'm going to go.". Then the two of them loudly speculating on where I'm going and what bus I'm going to take.  "Why won't she tell us?!". Why SHOULD I?!

He starts saying I should have got up and moved because he was black.  

You get the idea 

Some nausea this morning.

 I ate about 5 last night and got up at 6 this morning.  The holidays took a lot out of me.  

I am pretty nauseous.  I ate some oatmeal that is the blandest thing I could think of.  

It's going to make meal planning difficult because I don't want to think about eating anything right now.  

And I have to ride the bus over an hour to work, work a 9 hour shift, do it all tomorrow too.  

You really don't know

 I have gotten some flack recently for how I handled a woman with dementia, on the bus.  I got her home address out of her (not easy), looked it up on my phone (she wanted to play with my phone when I did that, I wouldn't let her), and figured out what bus line and bus stop she needed, directed her to that.  There have not been any reports about missing elderly so she obviously made it home and the authorities did not have to get involved (they would have if I called the police).  Assuming the police would even come, if they wouldn't come for an assault they're not going to come for a lost old lady.  This is The Big City.  

There was a lot more involved as she did have dementia and had apparently taken a shine to me.  But I'm not her caregiver.  Her caregiver is the person who left her unattended so she could wander off and start taking random buses all over Houston.  

It is very easy to say yes I am her caregiver.  Do you ride the bus in Houston?  Do you know what the bus clientele is like after dark?  Here's a hint, "The Freaks come out at night" like the old song.  I would have had that.  I would have had to walk home in the dark on New Years Eve when everyone in my store had serious alcohol in their shopping carts.  

Do you have brain damage?  Post traumatic Stress from caregiving?  Do you also have my illness and have to take my medication?  No.  Did you have an exhausting day working retail?  For my boss, who was having a terrible day?  

I got her home.  People are acting like I threw her in the gutter.  I did not.  

I got her home.

I'm not even supposed to be able to take care of myself, but I got her home. 

Early Thursday morning

 I got to work at 9 and did my thing.  I had 1 team lead there already and then another one showed up.  My boss showed up at 2, said "You haven't done much, huh?" and I told her I had done this and done that.  She said "Huh".  Then the acting team lead said "Heather did a lot" and pulled her off.  She didn't bother me again.  

I am especially happy with what I did as I was only there for 5 and a half hours.  I left, came home.  I was pretty tired until the woman got on with the pit bull on a rope.  It was obviously hungry (it kept lunging at people who had food) and trying to jump all over everyone (not a service dog).  She eventually got off at the stop near the large homeless encampment.  But I was on alert as she wasn't treating the dog right.  And what could I do?  Nothing.  She didn't have an address I could report and I haven't seen her before.  

An older white guy dressed all in white went over to her and gave her his phone number it was obvious he was hoping they could work out an "arrangement".  The woman looked nauseated (I think she was a lesbian but my radar on that stuff is pretty poor) but she did take it.  

My adrenaline surge kept me going until the end of the line.  The bus drivers all got a kick out of the "New Years" treat; the can of black eyed peas (for luck) and the can of greens (for money).  I got brands I know taste good (as good as you'll find, there's a reason I didn't get any for myself) in case they actually do eat it.  But I mainly did it to make them smile and I did.  I also put in a tract or scripture booklet and a little note I'd be praying for them every day.  

I got home.  I was so, so, tired.  I had fixed some lentils and pasta for my lunch but I was afraid to eat it as it didn't look very good.  I tried it when I got home and it was pretty good so I warmed that up, ate it, took my pills.  I texted my parents and my aunt, went straight to bed with the cats.  

I slept great considering.  My only drama Cleo and Spotty were fighting in the bed over who got to sleep by my head.  I was very flattered.  Spotty won that round.  They like to sleep by my head, Biscuit does not.  I'm just happy someone does as it makes me very happy.  

Today I work 12-9.  

I did the finances and I can pay everything but I couldn't work any rides into it.  I texted a friend at work who has offered to give me rides in the past, explained, she was happy to give me some rides.  She even offered to take me home on Friday night which I didn't ask.  

I have a very hard time asking for help.   The pest didn't help with that, either.  A lot of "unwanted" help that actually did me harm.  And, what I find unforgivable, scaring and upsetting Ron when he was sick.  

But this is a nice lady.  So, I can get groceries and I don't have to ride the bus at 9 PM.  My family would have been pretty upset.  

I really only have the one lean month.  One I get through January, get all the property tax paid (one down, three to go), I'll have more discretion but it's crunch time.  It doesn't help they are also cutting my hours at the same time.  

Although, what I hear, it could have been a lot worse.  

That's it for now.  I set the alarm to get up a little early so I don't have to run around today.  

#6 had a very good time last night

 It is funny, he turned his music way down when I started playing the Jesus metal.  I turned the metal down, but he still did karaoke, a lot of guys out in the yard (I guess the women and kids were in the house) talking, making speeches, karaoke.  They went all night.  I got up at 3:30.  

Then they went home.  That was aggravating.  

I can't call out today for several reasons.  I do have enough PTO and even if I didn't I only have 2 points on the attendance system.  And I'm not leaving my team short on a busy day.  

Sleep deprived Heather is better than no Heather.  And I want to give the drivers their presents: 

This combination is supposed to provide good luck (the peas) and money (the greens of course).  The pork just makes it taste better.  Ron ate a lot of the black eyed peas when he was in college, he would cut up a hot dog and put it in them, he said it was a very cheap and filling meal.  

Personally I don't like black eyed peas and I certainly don't like canned greens but other people believe in this stuff so it will be fun.  

I need to check my bank balance.  The fees for the HOA assessment were not as bad as I expected but I need a firm number on the balance.  

(Then I went to work)