I thought it might be interesting to create an update for some people who had a huge influence on my life.
Dad: still alive, still happily married to my stepmom. They do some traveling and have the kind of life I always hoped he'd have.
Stepmom: surprisingly close, considering everything. She is very protective of me now. Yeah.
Birth Mom: died years ago of a heart attack brought on by smoking. Smokers beware.
Ron: still married, he doesn't look to be getting out of the wheelchair. He uses it full time now. We may need to modify the bathroom doorway.
Primary sibling abuser: has a pretty miserable life, volatile personal life, many unhappy issues. Probably, I suspect, how some expected me to turn out.
Whatever you say about Ron he does have a role in me living a "productive" life.
My older half-sister had many issues when last we spoke. Poor health, divorced, very, profoundly, unhappy. I suspect she wanted to break up my marriage so I could "move in" and of course become her caregiver. I cut off contact, I have no desire or prodding from God, to resume it. I think God needs to work on her one on one for a while.
Her kids are all off living their own lives, and very happy from what I can see.
My older half-brother is more of a recluse, but a thoughtful "old soul" when he does post on Facebook. He's artistic and made me a nice thing that has no value to an outsider.
My older stepbrother turned out about how I expected, working 2 jobs, a father, happily married.
I'm the longest married of all the siblings.
My older stepsister is busy with her life, very happy, I'm happy for her. Oddly enough her ex friended me on Facebook. [shrug]
Ron's parents: "They wanted to put me in a nursing home" Ron says wryly "Now they're in one." I have the information if Ron ever wants to attempt contact again, but they made it pretty clear last time they really didn't want either of us in their lives. I stand by his decision.
It's sad, but I stand by it. Ron's sister is a great-grandmother. Her son got a girl pregnant, then the offspring got a girl pregnant while still in high school. She's only in her 60's.
I know nothing about Ron's brother, the one who tried to kidnap me and "force" me into "admitting I screwed up the paperwork and that's why we can't put Ron in a nursing home!"
Ron told him "If you can't treat Heather with the respect due my wife, I don't want you around."
I don't miss him. I do pray for all of them (waving hand) every day.
5 comments:
Is this the same step mother that mentally abused you and made your life a living hell when you were a child?
Well, I wouldn't put it that way, but yeah.
God has given me the ability to forgive her, move on, and see her for who she is now.
Not the overwhelmed woman with 4 kids total, 2 of whom were special needs.
That's the other thing God gives - perspective. I'm not lugging a sack of bitterness around with me. I have enough on my plate as it is.
You are a better person then I am in regards to your step mother.
Being overwhelmed is one thing but being plain evil and encouraging the abuse is quite another. Did she ever acknowledge what she did and apologize? Or pretend it never happened as many abusers do.
But I wonder where the vengeance is that God promised for her?
I just don't think it is right that people get away with all kinds of abuse to children and there is no justice.
I guess there really is no such thing as karma either.
Well, she had apologized, vaguely, which I found very unsatisfying.
I read an article about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome parenting, how the child is usually raised by a step or adoptive parent, the difficulties, and God worked on me.
I forgave her. Truly. I sent her an email. After that she couldn't stop apologizing (general apologies).
As for karma, the child she favored so strongly at my expense turned out very badly. A "failure" by most standards.
"I" not only beat the doom and gloom predictions, I went on to start my own business (with Ron), managed it for 13 years and counting, buy my own home and had it for over 10 years, etc. - without any of their help. My success is my own, as the world sees it (as I see it anything good in my life is a gift from God).
I have a strong faith in spite of everything, and I have meaningful evangelistic work which will carry through eternity.
I just focus on being my best. God will deal with everyone on judgement day, and all will be exposed. Jesus is very clear on that in the Bible.
Your attitude is impressive and a great testimony. I don't believe in the christian god of the bible but agree wholeheartedly with your philosophy on the matter.
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