Match

Ron told me about something I found rather upsetting. 

A woman, born with a disability, chose to have a child, knowing it would probably have the same disability. 

When my husband discovered his blindness was inherited, his children at high risk, he chose to sterilize himself.  I agreed wholeheartedly (after the fact). 

"If we want" I told him "We can always adopt a blind child out of the system."  Many people don't want a "broken" baby and dump them into the child welfare system. 

I have a friend who has done this twice, adopt special needs children.  She is commendable and a shining example of God working through a life. 

As it turned out, God didn't want us to be parents.  That's fine.  I'm happy with my 2 cats. 

Ron's mother had 3 "normal" children when she bore him.  She never had a child afterward. 

My mother had 3 live births, and shot herself during one pregnancy, attempting suicide.  That baby died, she did not.  I was her last child.  She was told I was "nearly retarded" when I was 6 months old. 

So, in our cases both our parents expected a "normal" child. 

I would never have relations with someone, knowing I could have a disabled child.  I would adopt a disabled child instead (assuming I were normal and capable of being a loving parent).  Why bring an innocent life into the world to suffer? 

It's far better to select an already extant child and adopt them.  You could even "match" to your disability or get something else entirely. 

To paraphrase the animal shelter: no one wants the gimp.  You'll have your choice. 

But no, they want "their" baby, and "It'll look just like me".  It also reeked, Ron said, of "attention seeking behavior". 

Funny, I know, coming from a white 40 year old married to a black, blind guy in a wheelchair.  We're a spectacle anywhere we go but I don't like it unless I am manic. 

I like a lot of odd things when I'm manic.