Why are you doing this?

Ron and I just had a rather tiresome discussion about the Bible Handouts. 

I reminded him I wanted to start at 8.  He disagreed.  I said, fine, I'll take the bus. 

[I love having that independence.  I will never, ever, live off a bus line no matter who I marry.  If I'm off the bus then the man has total control.  Not my thing at all.] 

So it's that important to you. 

Yes. 

Why? 

Because I want to share Jesus....

No, you want to look good. 

[I laughed]  You have no idea how I look.  I look like I went off my meds, like a maniac, doing this.  I'm doing this to share Jesus. 

You want to impress people and have them talk about you're so holy. 

No.  I don't care what people say.  I'm sure most of them think I'm a lunatic.  I'm OK with that. 

Then why are you doing this? 

Because there are people, out there, hurting, right now, who need Him.  I want to make an introduction.  I have had a lot of pain in my life, and it's hard enough with Jesus in my life.  I can't imagine going through it without Him, so I want to help. 

So, you're doing this, not for recognition, but to share Jesus? 

Yes!  Like I said, it's a very humiliating process.  99% don't want a Bible, half act like I don't even exist, and the other half treat me like a drug addict!  Who'd sign up for that, to look good?  [Does he think they throw roses at me, on the median?]

What do you think the church will think?  I believe you're trying to impress them. 

I doubt it would impress them.  They'll probably think I need a medication adjustment.  I don't care what they think. 

Why do you think you have to do this? 

Mom would say God's given me a burden for these people, and their pain.  I feel it.  I want to help.  [I choked up a little and I know he heard it]  People are out there hurting.  I want to help. 

OK, fine, I'll make the trip.