Milk Bras

Warning, this post will cover some biological functions and discuss, in detail, symptoms of my "mental illness". OK, you're warned.

Before I got treated for my bipolar disorder, I had "psychotic features". I'd feel things on my skin, like crawling bugs all up and down my legs. One day I bumped a fire ant nest and didn't notice until they began biting me, because I'd become so accustomed to the crawling sensations. I also had paranoid delusions - They were out to get me. I'd see people who weren't there, especially out of the corner of my eye, and most annoyingly, hear music, laughter and other sounds that didn't exist. It was ghastly.

So, how does that lead to a "Milk Bra"? Well, my doctor prescribed Risperdal for my psychotic symptoms. It works very well. If I'm completely exhausted I may get a recurrence, but another tablet takes care of them quickly.

Risperdal has some side effects. It can contribute to heart problems, and diabetes. It also raises prolactin levels. Prolactin - here's a link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prolactin . Eventually, I might get a breast, ovary, or pancreatic cancer but I assure you it's a lot riskier for me to be unmedicated than to worry about "maybes" 30 years in the future. With my meds, I'll have a future.

I tend to retain water in my breasts, quite a bit, in the 2 weeks before my period now. I attribute that to the prolactin. Rarely, when I'm ovulating, my breasts will make and express milk. Yes, human milk. All of a sudden I get a little spontaneous "squirt" into my bra. I don't know about anyone else, but whatever it is I make is a disgusting shade of greenish brown and stains my bras.

Hence, milk bras. If they have a milk stain (inside the cup only, I don't make that much milk) I will wear them when I'm ovulating, just in case. It's only happened maybe 6 times in the couple years I've been taking the medication. I know someone who expressed lots of milk every day while she took Risperdal, so I feel fortunate.

Antipsychotics have a terrifying list of side effects, so I'm not switching. I can handle the swollen breasts and the occasional milky outburst. Oddly enough, I can't squeeze out any milk, it just comes out when it feels like it.

As I lose weight, I lose sizes too. I was a 40 band size when I started, now I can wear a 35. As I drop bra sizes, I dispose of them. Bras in good condition go to a thrift store, but the milk bras get tossed out.

I have a few more to toss out, I discovered today. Oh, well. It's a lot better than being "crazy".