Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Manic for soynuts

I want my brain to be a rowboat on a nice, placid lake. Paddle, paddle... nice and dull. Instead, God issued me a surfboard labeled "bipolar".

Other than my accident "Issues" which come up this time every year, I've been a little manic. I'm not talking my head off. I have $70 two weeks after I got paid, and I only want to buy a few things at Walmart. Most of what I want to get is driver candy (always a huge hit). I'm not irritable, paranoid, or very delusional. Off and on, I think I hear a phone ringing. I go "Huh? Huh?" and try to figure out if it's in my head or not, figure out it's in my head, sigh, and get on with my life. If it were any worse I'd call my doctor.

I've just got this intense fascination with soybeans. I want to buy them in all shapes and forms. Soy milk powder, soy grits, soy nuts, and whole soybeans. I did buy the first 3 online because I want to try them out anyway. My food choices are getting limited these days. I'm just itching to buy a big sack of black soybeans. Then I want to smack my head against a wall and go Why God? Why? Why must I have this illness?

It isn't that bad these days. I've just got soymania. I'm sure the soybean farmers are ecstatic. The internet health food stores appreciate my business, my order is being processed. ;-P

I do want to kick myself in the head a few times and get this soymania out of my head. It's not bad, I'm grateful for my health, but God, I wish my brain were a nice boring rowboat instead of a surfboard!

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