Patience

When I get frustrated at my mental sluggishness, when I get dizzy and start to lose my balance, and when I have to take longer naps than I did as a toddler, I try to recall the good things I've gained from my medication.

Today, I meditated on how nice it is not to have delusions anymore. I don't miss them one bit. UGH. A horrible thought, stuck to you like a leech, a horrible, soul-sucking leech. I know it isn't true, yet it's utterly convincing. It's in my mind constantly, lurking like a hated stalker. Everywhere I go, there it is. UGH. No more, thank God. I can stand a little mental fogginess.

Ron and I seldom fight anymore, either. Partly, it's because we've had 15 years of practice at getting along with each other, being sensitive and loving mates. Mostly, it's because I take my Lithium.

I'm not obessed with spending my paycheck. Tomorrow, I'm going to run to the leathercraft store that's near our doctor (Ron needs paperwork filled out). I might buy some scraps and play around with making a pillow. I've considered it for a few months, and why not? I still find it interesting.

I was just looking at the Sheep Shed, they've got some fantastic superwash wool rovings. Paradise Fibers' Columbia-Dorset blend worked out perfectly for me. It's an ideal wool for a "Store quality" handspun yarn. The yarn was loads of fun to spin. I've got about a pound of roving, I'd like more. But it can wait.

I can't tell you how nice that is, to think that I can wait. I can wait until I finish Sue's thing, I spin up the rest of that pound of the Columbia-Dorset, and play with the gray blend I got from RH Lindsay. The Sheep Shed and Paradise Fibers aren't going anywhere; I can get the things I want, if I still want them, in another few weeks.

I like having patience.