Not necessary

I really WANT a boring life.

Yesterday morning we got on the paratransit vehicle. The driver took one look at me, gaped, and began interrogating me about my "weight gain". For the record, I am DOWN a clothing size from last year, although my scale weight is the same. You can see my pictures. I have been "about" this for a couple years now.

Anyway, she carried on like I had gained 100 pounds in a week, DEMANDING I tell her "how I gained the weight". Very insistent on that. "You were so skinny" she told me - yeah, maybe 20 years ago!

Anyway, I kept asking her to stop. She kept rudely demanding to know "how I had gained the weight". I finally told her "I take medication for severe mental illness" - next time I would tell her "That's not your business and if you don't stop I'm going to make a video for management"
I also added I had to take 4 very toxic prescriptions that cause weight gain, not that it was her business. She kept telling me how terrible I looked "I used to be so cute and small" etc. I don't know who she is referring to... all I can think is she must have mixed me up with another client or caregiver. She kept saying I was so "small and cute last year when she was pregnant" so I know that wasn't me.

Why are you so fat? 

"Why don't you call Customer service and ask?"  I replied. 

Anyway, when she's satisified as to the "why" I gained weight, not that it was her business - I got the lecture on how she lost her baby weight "really quick" and I should be able to do the same.
She is 20 years old. I am 40. She does not take toxic mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. [head desk]
Bullying, unprofessional, and immature.

I had a lot of issues, as a Christian, with this encounter. Should I report her? Should I forgive her (I have) and decline to make the report?

She was training a new driver.  This happened in front of Ron, another client, and the trainee, who outweighed me by 100 pounds and must have been mortified. 

I talked to a couple people yesterday. 

Ron was upset because it reminded him I'm "fat".  He's said, repeatedly, he doesn't want a fat wife because everyone would think as a blind man, he "had to settle" and "he married his fat mother". 

Everytime I've brought up this incident he said "Well, lose weight" and tried some really lame reverse psychology. 

I hope to God I never fell for that years ago. 

So, we went to Walmart.  We came home.  I put up the groceries.  We went to the warehouse, and then to work. 

We had problems.  Various vending machines were not working.  Apparently they blew a transformer, Monday, after we left, and the machines were down for over an hour. 

Complex vending machines do not like that.  Basic ones like my Snack #2 can take it. 

I had to fix them.  I stocked and made sure everything was fine. 

I need candy bars, that's about it.  And maybe Poptarts. 

We left and came home.  Remember Ron indignant about having to settle for the "fat wife?"  Took me to the mall and bought me fast food.  Talk about mixed messages. 

Midly depressed, I bought myself some Yankee Candles.  They had a sale $5 for a small glass one, and they had two in "Red Rose" - my very favorite.  I'm burning one right now as I type.  I'm glad I got them. 

Ron ate himself sick on Chinese food.  I really wonder where he puts it.  He is completely inactive and average weighted. 

I had to do some accounting stuff for Ron, and then he paid me.  I went to bed. 

I had trouble dropping off but I slept OK once I did.  I woke up around 6 - that's sleeping in.  For once, I did not have a headache. 

Normally I get horrible headaches when I sleep in. 

I did my God Time, still pretty upset.  Too depressed to shower so far. 

I thought about it.  I thought about it some more. 

I watched Supernatural on TNT.  I took a nap. 

I woke up. 

I decided to call in to the regular paratransit line and give them a heads up on the driver's behavior. 

I got someone who knows us pretty well.  She died laughing when I said, "I'm mentally ill, I'm a caregiver, I run a small business, and I'm married to [Ron's full name]."  

I got to the first "You're so fat" and she stopped me dead, furious.  "That is completely unacceptable!  That's awful!  I'm going to transfer you!" 

I had just planned to ask them to issue a memo stating please don't make comments about the client's weight, especially if they are asking you to stop. 

I got a higher up.  Again, "You're so fat" and she went nuclear!  "We will not tolerate this behavior!" 

Well, Metrolift doesn't like this.  I guess it's a good thing I called. 

I ended up on hold for a long while and making a formal report.  I don't regret it.  Odds are they will talk to her about it.  I doubt she will be fired unless she is already on probation. 

It comes down to this: if I'm not treating my customers right - God forbid I verbally abuse them, they can and should report it. 

Same applies to the drivers. 

This wasn't just a joke gone wrong or an offhand comment.  One driver said "N*gga, please" when I gave her directions one day.  I thought it was hysterical.  The one guy thought I was pregnant.  He was very earnest and sincere, he wasn't being ugly. 

This was just ugly, ongoing, hateful, verbal abuse.  She kept saying "You used to look so good, now you're so fat and I'm skinny". 

That's not necessary, ever, to drive someone to a destination. 

Clearly she has major body image and self-esteem issues, but that's not my problem.  Get some counseling.  Don't beat me up! 

I have enough grief already!