I was thinking, in the shower, it would be nice to know at least a yes or no if God wants me to remarry. I was thinking, yesterday, at work: I want a man to pursue me but not too much.
I already have one stalker. I don't need another. But I want to feel like I'm important to someone. That he misses me, thinks about me. That he prays for me and my recipients and loves the idea of going on a Handout. Who will buy me a case of Bibles for a gift. Someone who loves God, wants to please Him, loves me second.
That's one thing Ron had trouble with. His troubles and behavior drove me to God (it was either that or a bad place). God was first in my life, serving Him, making Him happy. Ron was second. He had a lot of trouble with that at first but eventually he realized my desire to please God meant I would take care of Ron even beyond what a "normal" woman would do.
But it would be nice to look up from my work and see a smiling face.
It would also be nice to know if I should even bother looking. If I'm meant to be single I'll accept that - the Bible is pretty clear, a single woman can focus on pleasing God 100% and not worry about making a husband happy, too.
I just don't know.
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