New Photos, and the card I'll be mailing

I took my camera to work today, and Chuck was happy to take some photos. Here's the link: http://picasaweb.google.com/RCHeather/February2010?feat=directlink I think you can really see the new progress.

Many times, Ron will comment that a particular day has seemed "pointless". We went to work, filled 'em up. I handed out a sack of Bibles and candy over the course of my day.

However, I had it in my head that after work, I would go to the Christian bookstore and buy a case or two of the economy paperback Bibles. God has had me handing out my supply, I'm down to my last one. I figured, He would make sure I could resupply.

Not. Quite. I went to the bookstore. They HAD over 100 the last time I checked, but they were sold out. On the one hand I am delighted to know someone else is out there handing out Bibles, on the other hand, Ron had given me cab fare, and dropped me off on the weekend, and for what? I did pick up some books, but it just seemed like a pointless trip.

Then, I had all the fun of WAITING on the cab. I was too goofy to take the bus... I would not have wanted to cross busy streets. Also, since we'd gone to work it was later in the day than I like to be out.

I was feeling pretty lightheaded and queasy from my medication, and my feet hurt. Annoying.

So, as I'm standing out there I get out the book by DL Moody. He was a famous preacher/evangelist back in the 1800's. I've been feeling led to read something by/about him. I found a budget paperback for $4. I don't like to spend more than $5 or so on my own books; but happily spend dozens of dollars on evangelism stuff! I think my priorities are correct.

So, I'm reading it, the chapter on forgiveness. I realize that God is convicting me.

I have one person I feel I can never forgive. It's not the family who let us down after Ron's accident. It's not people who have stolen from us. It's not the guy who ran over my husband.

It's the policeman, who investigated the accident. 1. He got all the details wrong, and basically wrote up the accident report that Ron would have had to step into the street backwards, in order to have sustained the injuries he did. When I pointed that out he 2. Blamed me for the accident, not 24 hour later, with Ron at deaths' door. What a terrible thing to do! "It's your fault! You let him go alone!" That is not serving the public, besides the guy ran a red light and admitted it. Ron had the right-of-way, alone or not. and 3. Ron had a cash deposit, for the bank, in his backpack. Officer Friendly had the backpack, and the other contents of same. The paramedics had their hands full just keeping Ron alive until the Life-flight showed, and the officer had all the stuff, except the cash.

One would be fairly easy to forgive, but all three have just weighted me down with hate. I have often thought I would love to perpetrate some trauma. To emotionally victimize a distraught wife; to fail so utterly in your duties to accurately report what occurred; and to ROB the victim of a trauma! Ron has been pretty blase about it. I envy him that.

I told God, OK, I am at the place where I could forgive him, but how? I know it's my duty.

Send him a card, Heather. Now, that's interesting. I have a ton of cards, I got the last time I was manic. I have some blank ones that would work very well.

So, I will be researching his address; and sending him a card. "I forgive you for your words and actions regarding my husband's accident. I am praying for you daily." Sign and date, and stick a tract inside. "You're Special" even though it GALLS me to do this.

I don't want this to get in the way of my relationship with God. I want Him to be ABLE to use me 100%. I don't want to drag around a 7-year-old injustice anymore.

Anyway, I'll be glad when that's over. I think I am OK with regard to other issues. I feel pity for the haters; and pray for them.

Oh, let me know what you think of the photos!