I'm an athlete

I had two "Aha" thoughts today that I thought deserved mention in my blog.

First of all, I need to let you know I've been cheating on you. I have a low carb blog as well. I may or may not put a link up, but if you've noticed my posts tapering off that's why. I kind of like having a "secret" blog for now.

I was watching an ad on TV. It featured Gatorade, and men playing basketball. I thought, basketball would be fun but I don't have the coordination and skill to do that. I do love "sport" - working out, lifting weights, challenging myself on the track or a fitness machine.

I love doing what I do. I love that I can squat, bench, and deadlift. I love the fact that I own weightlifting books and use them regularly. I love that I'm the kind of woman who isn't afraid to look sweaty and focused while I'm lifting/running/whatever. I love that I have a whole drawer full of sweatbands and sportbras. It's an integral part of my identity.

I used to look at all the things I couldn't do. I can't drive. I can't hold many jobs. I have terrible coordination - throw a ball at me and I'll duck. I can't control my emotions without medication, for God's sake!

Now I look at what I can do. I am a strong woman. I learned what I needed, researching from my husband's Intensive Care hospital room, to care for him properly. I learned to be everything he needed. I stayed with him, keeping my wedding vows, when many women would have run screaming. I couldn't have done anything else.

I lost 70 pounds through Atkins, managing, in spite of myself, to get down to 152. When I got sick and gained it back, I knew just what to do. I did it. I'm doing it every day.

I'm the woman whose goal is to bench, squat, and deadlift her own body weight. I like to play with heavy metal in my garage. I'm the woman who likes to run and challenge herself.

You don't want me playing your team sport, but I am an athlete. I love what I do.