Are things that bad? I don't know.
Last night, while I was doing my henna, the kids came by asking for their ball. I found a soccer ball in the yard and threw it over the fence. Later, I washed my hair and went to bed.
This morning, our ride came after his kids had left for school.
Side note: I don't know why they think this is OK in any circumstance, but both of my latino neighbors think it is OK to follow me onto the Metrolift vehicle, stick their head in an open window, or open the door. I find it creepy, stalkery, and very disturbing.
Anyway, the guy comes running out and comes up the stairs after me like I'm leaving him. I gave him the "What the hell are you doing" look. I've been told it's pretty good.
He said something about his kids and a ball. I explained I had already given it back. No, he said, there's another ball.
OK, I told him. When I get home, I will find the ball and throw it back. He got upset. I have to leave I told him, indicating the driver behind him, trying to get on the vehicle. He left.
Now, I have to wonder, if I had a car, would they be getting in the vehicle to talk? Opening doors? Sticking heads in windows? I refer to #2 as well as #6, the guy I dealt with today. Isn't that trespass?
Do they think that trespass in a private vehicle isn't, for a public transit vehicle? I find it a very rude violation of my boundaries.
He has seen the circus of loading Ron, in the driveway, enough now that he's given up on the "park the van in my driveway" routine. You can't have a 13 passenger van and this sharing the same driveway:
Just put Ron in the wheelchair, a different paint job, and you've got us most mornings. The rest of the time paratransit uses a minivan cab with a fold out wheelchair ramp in the back. If anything, it needs more room.
I just get a little pissed. I'm not here to serve you and your kids. It's not your property, it's mine. Please respect that. Don't follow me onto the vehicle, come onto my property, etc. It's just rude.
I don't know if it's a cultural thing. Does the latino culture say "It's all community property, let the children run wild, property lines don't matter, have loud parties all night because the baby turned a year old (never mind the baby will spend the whole "party" crying), follow your neighbor onto public transit because your kid lost one of his six soccer balls, let your kids kick the ball into the neighbor's house for hours, and if an adult has a birthday it's a pass to an all night party because it's their birthday!"
If so, I'm sorry. I come from a completely different place; one where children stay on their own property, play on their sidewalk, or ride bikes around the neighborhood; going onto someone's property without permission meant a beating, no one ever had a loud party - even the high school had the Grad Night so the High School kids were contained - a birthday meant a quiet family celebration or a rented hall, you didn't go on anyone's property without permission unless you were selling candy, and kids would never, ever, be allowed to kick a ball into the neighbor's house - that would mean another beating.
Now the neighbors guy finally left. He was on my property, "Fixing the fence" I found them like that when I got home. He was standing at the gate for a couple of minutes. It's just a latch. He let himself out and did lock the gate, but I made sure they saw me going to check that they did.
An unlatched gate, to me, has meant untold numbers of screaming children in the yard.
I was already in a bad mood what with #6 jumping me about the stupid ball. If it were up to me I'd stab every ball that came over the fence. That would put an end to it, but as Ron states "We don't want a war".
The cats also make us hostages. They go out.
So. I woke up with a migraine. Had to work anyway. Dealt with #6 and the stupid ball. Wondering if the damn thing was even in my yard.
We went to the warehouse. We really needed bottled Sprite. That's the one drink everyone wants. "Ya'll got a Sprite?" We can't put it in the Dr Pepper vendors.
A little about that. We have 7-8 choices in each machine. Of those, we can only have 2 non-Pepper products. Now Dr Pepper makes a lot of good stuff. Diet Dr Pepper. RC Cola. Sunkist Orange. Hawaiian Punch. Pretty easy to fill those up.
When it comes to the competiors, we're allowed 2. So, for the first 2 machines in our row, we feature Coke, and Lipton. The second machine has Pepsi and Mountain Dew. The last machine (further down) has Coke and Diet Coke. No room for Sprite.
However, the bottled vendor belongs to the State, and is not under contract. We still put Dr Pepper in it, but we also put water, Sprite, and Sunkist Orange (also a Dr Pepper product). Ha. I guess we really do bleed burgundy and white (Dr Pepper colors).
The Sprite row has been empty for some time. About a week. We're trying to be better vendors so it's embarrasing. Today Ron put some orange in there just to fill it.
We found Sprite today, happily. "We need to get 2 cases" I told Ron. He agreed. We also got him some Pepsi (it's done very well), and a few snack items for me. I would have liked to get some pastries but they all had really short codes. I did get some chips.
When we came in, of course, I found I needed more items, which we'll get.
We also found the boss. He was doing our inspection. We did very well. He seemed very pleasantly surprised. Ron and I are not afraid of hard work.
Even in a wheelchair, Ron works his butt off. I only have problems keeping him contained to our area.
He has to be careful even in our area. We have dropped ceilings with all kinds of stuff up there. Today featured two guys on ladders with their heads up in the ceiling, totally obvlivious to wild blind vendors in wheelchairs. I had to corral him.
I also saw a guy on stilts. [moan] No wonder I get migraines. I'm trying to keep Ron from killing himself, and the construction workers. That doesn't even factor in the guys carrying ladders, the guys carrying metal pipe, etc. Eeek.
Ron wants to just roll off to the bathroom as needed. I tell him "Not yet. After this is done you can do whatever you want." I lied. "But for now you need to play the game."
So, the boss left and we did our stocking. I also took the money out and counted it. Pretty good. Not famous or historical, but better than a year ago!
We went to the bank. Ron thought he lost some money, so after our transaction, he kept taking his money out and counting it. I begged him to wait.
"You'll feel a lot worse if someone robs you and you lose all of it" - he thought he had lost some money. He hadn't, of course.
My head was still killing me, but we got a good ride home. We had the guys making a lot of racket on the fence. Ron decided to order pizza.
We got that and I ate some of mine, taking my meds. I wish the meds were doing more for my mood, which is absolutely vile. I think part of it stems from the fact the neighbor only does these big projects when he's having a party. That and the whole boundaries issue.
Anyway, they went away, leaving 2 huge holes in my fence. I had images of his little kids coming through into my "playground". I also realized he has a really small yard. No wonder his kids were always in my yard. You can hardly turn around in there. It explains their persistence in the soccer game off the side of my house, too. It's really the only clear grassy spot, along my fence.
I laid down for a little bit. Torbie laid down on my leg. Baby Girl laid down on an old t-shirt of mine. I slept for about a half hour then woke up to hear a very loud voice talking outside my bedroom window. I always have my blinds closed. Thank God.
The guy spent about an hour in my yard doing fence work.
See, when the kids play soccer they are very hard on the fence. They kick the fence a lot, bounce the balls off it, etc. So the boards crack, separate, and fall off.
I had planned to write a blog about his gate, how the broken boards made it look like some kind of hillbilly, or jack o lantern. A couple years ago he said the "weeds" on my side of the fence were breaking it. I think he's figured out it's the kids.
So, I don't feel at all guilty or indebted. His kids broke the fence, he should fix it. I just wish he had TOLD me this morning instead of going on about the stupid ball.
I am fine with people in my yard, if they're expected. You should have seen what I did to the poor utility worker who had to access a terminal in my yard! I think he still has the bite marks.
After I went out to make sure his guy had locked the gate (and he had, unlike 99% of people who use the gate), the neighbor came and knocked on the door. He said they were fixing the fence. I told him I knew, and they had woken up my husband (a partial truth, they woke me up, but I had made a big point of telling him Ron was very sick a few weeks ago). He said they were going to clean up my back yard for me.
No. I told him. I would do it. What? I'll do it.
No, I told him. I'll do it.
I have a bad feeling I'll come home tomorrow and find it done anyway. I just want to be left alone. My mood is horrible. I don't want any human contact. I don't want strangers in my space making me freak out.
I don't want to be so freaking sick in the head.
I wish I could tell people and have them understand, but Ron says it would backfire horribly. I tend to agree. They'd be poking at me, metaphorically, like they would a hornet's nest, waiting to see what made me blow.
I just wish people felt sorry for me, like they do for Ron, now and then, and were willing to accomodate. "We're going to have a party in a few days, Heather. Just thought you should know." "The kids are going to have some friends over tomorrow and play for about 4 hours." Oh, I'd love that.
Oh, well, he's probably figured out I'm some kind of bitch by now. [sigh] Does it really matter what flavor?
It sounds awful but I really feel it is better to be "meaner" and have stronger boundaries, than to be "nicer" and get taken advantage of. Sad we have to choose that at all.
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