Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Missing Frosty

I miss my baby; and I'm battling a depression. It didn't take an expert for me to realize, once I heard the words "Kidney failure" that it would probably be an EXCELLENT idea to increase my lithium. I did and have continued with my 3-a-day dosage.

I'm taking all my supplements:
CoQ10
L-Carnitine
B-100 with Inositol - a good anti-depression bipolar vitamin
Antioxidants
Vitamin E
Milk Thistle (good for the old liver)
Mixed Minerals
Olive Leaf (for the immune system)

I'm forcing myself to do things I enjoy, even though they break my heart. I have a lot of Frosty-in-the-garden memories. He particularly loved to pee on the plants in garden bed 4, and eat the heads off my marigolds.

My other cat is picking up a lot of slack, he cuddles with me at night, and comes and sits on my feet in the morning as I watch the news. I know he loves me, Bubba's a good boy.

But he isn't Frosty. I bought him some canned food in his favorite flavor - beef. He loves it, I'll have to get him some more. They don't have any pork chop flavored cat food for some reason. I guess I'll have to buy him one the next time I go to Foodtown.

Even the knitting is hard. Frosty loved to leap into my lap and lie on my knitting. I couldn't turn my work with a plump kitty in my lap, so it would lie idle as he purred.

As I stagger through the day, highly medicated and in a fog of depression, it's hard to keep track of things. I know my pain will dim with time. I'll get used to missing Frosty.

I won't expect him anymore, and the sight of white cat hair, the last cat hair, on the sofa won't bother me. I'll be able to lint-roll the last evidence of him right out of my life.

I have no desire to do it, but I'll take a bath today. Ron would tease me and pinch his nose, saying "You need it!". Frosty might have come and put his paws in the edge of the tub, trying to figure out the appeal of a bathtub.

It's a long road.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I lost my dog to cancer this summer but did get another two right away ..I could not wait ..when you feel ready please adopt there are so many out there waiting for your love and kindness

you are such a good mama and I am sorry for your loss