The Linen Expert

Today I went to work, the bank and then we went to Walmart. My meds had me goofy again - it's very frustrating at times. I love being sane. I love the fact that I put $90 into my "fun money" account, been home for hours, been online for hours, and haven't spent a dime. I love the fact that with the sheets I bought my total at Walmart was only $60. I'd been thinking about the sheets for months and I finally decided to splurge.

I have a weakness for nice linens. In 1997 I worked for Strouds "The Linen Experts". They were a very high-end linen shop. One of the first things they did when they hired me was to give me a bath towel. I still have it, I love it, and it utterly ruined me for anything you get at the discount store. YUMMY. Then I was extensively trained for a week (the workbook was over an inch thick and I was a cashier. I knew all the answers - why combed cotton was better than regular, thread counts, Egyptian and Pima cottons, you name it.

I really enjoyed my job - I was unmedicated at the time so you can guess how that went. I had to wear pumps (they wanted me to wear heels but I refused) and a suit to work every day. I made about $7 an hour, but I enjoyed the environment and the customers.

Since it was a high-end store in a wealthy suburb, we got some celebrities. I rang up Barry Bonds once. His total came to some hundreds and four cents. I put in my own change so I wouldn't have to make change for a hundred. He laughed when I asked if he wanted to go on the mailing list. I also rang up Jaqueline Rice (Mrs. Jerry Rice). I rang her up a few times at Target, too, and I always liked her. She was very kind and patient, if all celebrities were like her the tabloids would be out of business.

Some of the "Not so wealthy" would have a bad case of buyer's remorse by the time they got to me. I had a little spiel I'd do about how nice the sheets were, I loved the design, and "Hey, look at what you spend on your car! You spend a third of your life in bed, it might as well be cozy!" They always liked that and then they'd whip out the plastic.

The problem, as I saw it, was Strouds' overly generous return policy. They would take ANYTHING back, in any condition, as long as it had a receipt. People tended to use them as "Strouds rent a sheet". They'd come in and buy a sheet set, telling me how mother in law was coming to visit. Then, three weeks later, they'd be back with an opened package and receipt, and I'd put their money back on their credit card. Oh, that used to bug me! It didn't suprise me when Strouds folded (sorry, couldn't resist) a few years later.