I wonder what the neighbors will think

Our driver came at 3:10.  I left with Ron and we got in the truck. 

We stopped at the vet's office and I ran over to the gas station next door, to get a snack.  Then I went in the office. 

It was pretty chaotic.  They put me in the "large dog exam room" and I couldn't help but wonder what the cats would think when they got a whiff of me tonight. 

I was informed Torbie was refusing to go in her carrier.  I demonstrated my technique, put the carrier on end, drop the cat, but they didn't want to do that.  They told me she would be fine once they brought her to me. 

Sure enough, poor, bug-eyed, Torbie took one look at me, realized we were going home, and fled into her carrier.  I had a little bit of a wait with Torbie and then the vet came in. 

We discussed the surgery, 3 stitches.  She said the pain medicine was only available in a tablet.  That's unfortunate.  She got me some cheese spread to use as adhesive when I pill her, I can use the cheese goop to stick the pill to my finger, before I shove it down her throat. 

I asked about the blood test results, was she OK?  The vet went over each result with me and basically told me Torbie is fine, but her blood sugar may be high-normal.  She strongly suggested feeding wet food only. 

I don't think that will go over very well with Ron, aka "Treat man".  I didn't say that, though. 

Doc said she had taken a look at the tumor under the microscope, but it was inconclusive, she was going to wait for the [proper] pathology report.  I have thought about it, and even if it is cancer I won't change anything. 

I'm not going to put Torbie through chemotherapy or more surgery, I would just give her a really awesome life until it wasn't awesome anymore, then make the loving choice. 

If it isn't cancer, then nothing to worry about. 

I didn't tell Doc any of this. 

I asked about litter.  Doc said regular litter should be fine and I can clean it with a baby wipe if it gets crusty.  She loved the idea of me using a baby wipe, actually. 

All done with Doc, time to wait to pay.  Someone had brought in a sick kitten and they were worried it was contagious.  I am, of course, totally freaked out about Torbie, but I did say "Get well soon" when they walked the kitty past us to an exam room. 

When I got to the checkout there was some delay, as the office manager was managing calls and also trying to wrangle this sick-drop-in cat.  I really hope it just had a bladder infection or something. 

The office cat was visiting with Torbie, putting her paws up on the seat and looking into her carrier.  Torbie cringed. 

Finally time to pay.  Ron was having conniptions on the phone about the wait. 

However, when I got there it was $200 less than the estimate I had been given.  That's worth a wait!  Ron called me while I was leaving and I had to put Torbie on the floor and answer it. 

I put Torbie with Ron in the back and we drove home.  Torbie didn't meow much. 

We came in and got settled.  I let Torbie out, and she's hanging out in my bedroom.  I put some food on a plate, and a bowl, to make it easy for her to get something to eat. 

I need to give her the pain pill pretty soon.  I am hoping she will overtly eat in front of us because it can be a little rough on the tummy. 

However, when I had that other cat's feet done (scroll down to read about it), they didn't give me any pain meds and she was fine.  Torbie is, however, limping. 

Doc had to use the scalpel because the tumor was very close to the extensor (goes out) tendon.  Even shaved and scabbed up, her foot looks so good!  I love seeing her with a nice clean foot, no tumor. 

To me, it's worth some aggravation.  Our driver likes cats so he didn't mind waiting.  He really likes Torbie. 

Speaking of, he called me.  His voice sounded very strained so I ran outside.  He was sick, suffering from extreme vertigo, and wanted to call 911.  I did that and gave him the phone to describe his symptoms. 

They must not have put it out as a high priority.  The paramedics took forever to show up.  He could have died! 

They sent "the black ambulance" which I always find creepy.  It looks like something a demon would drive so he could harvest the souls of the damned.  The entire "rig" is black but for the lettering. 

They took him away.  He left his truck in my driveway. 

I wonder what the neighbors will think of that. 

A lot about Torbie

I slept horribly last night, worried about Torbie.  To compound the problem, I kept rolling over on her, including her feet.  Ouch. 

Well, not "ouch", yet.  I put away all the food and water after the appropriate times.  Ron did individual feedings for Baby Girl and Biscuit. 

He swore he made sure Torbie didn't get any, and she seemed to be pretty planted with me, so that worked out. 

I got up (late), took a shower, and put Torbie in her box.  Then I put the water out, she wasn't too happy about that, and I also put out a num-num for the other cats.  Ron did not take the cover off the food bowl "I was feeding them all night". 

Our driver came on time and we put Torbie in the backseat, then drove to the vet.  They were open early. 

I gave them the candy, which was a big hit.  How hard is it to buy a back of Hershey Minis?  Do it the next time you take your pet to the vet. 

We took Torbie in an exam room, talked, I approved the estimate, and signed consent forms for surgery.  Then they sent me away. 

Torbie responds to Feliway, which is, as far as I can tell, pot for cats.  It makes them very mellow.  She was pretty relaxed when I left her. 

We went to breakfast, then to the bank.  I deposited a large chunk to cover the surgery and the homeowner's insurance. 

I had called the vet and they said it is easier to take a credit card than cash.  I shouldn't be surprised.  They also said they would check for a microchip. 

I was told BARC, the animal shelter, inserted a microchip, but they were very busy that day so I would like to know for certain.  They said they would check. 

Then I stopped bothering the vet's office. 

We went home after the depo$it and I took a nap.  I laid down and started to fall asleep, and my phone rang.  It was the vet.  They were done, tumor off, Torbie was fine and in recovery. 

I asked if they had made her a cone-head, as I was worried about chewing, and they said yes they had.  Good. 

Then I had a good nap.  When I got up I rolled a blanket, making a perimeter for Torbie to have a safe space.  I shouldn't roll over on her.  I will hit the blanket and know to pull back. 

That's the idea, at any rate.  That's also assuming she wants to sleep in the bed after her surgery. 

She may want to sleep with Ron, or here in the computer room. 

I did tell the vet Torbie likes treats, and they have her brand.  Apparently the company sends them large boxes of samples. 

Now I'm just waiting on my ride to the vet.  When we get there, I will pay up, get my cat, and receive my discharge instructions.  Hopefully she won't need any special litter. 

I did forget about that. 

I lived with 2 cats that were declawed and it was a horrible process for them both.  My father insisted they had to be declawed to live with us.  On my own, I had a polydactyl cat (extra toes), who had 3-4 extra toes on each of her front feet.  She couldn't get the old claws off due to the malformation in her feet and I ended up declawing a couple of toes, with the vet's approval.  He never did declaws but the claws were growing into her pads and causing her pain.  He was happy to fix that.  We left all the other claws so she could shred the furniture.  LOL  And she did. 

In the second case, she didn't need any special litter.  In fact, I think she was in so much pain before, "after" was nothing to her.  She made a very quick recovery.  It used to bother me to see her jump off the sink, onto the floor, the day after surgery but she didn't flinch. 

I did enough of that for both of us! 

A little less tired

I heard about the nightclub shooting when I got online. 

My response: write a expository about how islam hates gay people, and killing them is mandated in their holy book.  This is not surprising, really. 

I got some vehement responses to that.  Why would someone defend a "religion" that is killing your friends?  People's children? 

Now, my religion condemns all sexual immorality, but it also tells me my job is to love them, to confront their sin, to witness to them, plead with them to repent, and then to pray for them.  If a believer refuses to repent of sexual immorality they are to be thrown out of church.  I bet you didn't know that one. 

Anyway, nowhere in the above paragraph will you read the word "kill".  It's not our job to do that.  We are not to enforce judgement, just to warn of wrath if someone does not repent. 

I pity those trapped in sin.  God knows I sure sin and I spend a lot of time telling God just how sorry I am that I failed Him, again.  But I battle.  I strive to live a holy life. 

Anyway, the post ended with some people agreeing with me (if you are a follower you saw this) and some cursing both me and my God out. 

What a way to start the day.  I had already done my God Time and taken my shower.  I enjoy reading the Old Testament history books.  I was reading about Elijah and the prophets of baal today.  It's a bloody story but one that ends well for God. 

I ate, took my pills, and very tentatively took one of the 5 mg Claratins I bought.  I haven't been manic today, just a little less tired, I'd say. 

Reviewing facebook again, I see a lot of posts along the lines of "It doesn't matter if he was muslim, we just have to hold hands and sing and everything will be alright". 

It matters a whole lot.  If a people group is out to exterminate you, you need to recognize that and defend yourself.  That's just common sense, but I'm not going to argue with them. 

I am sick of seeing all the rainbows on my wall.  The rainbow was a sign between God and humanity that he wouldn't destroy us by flood, not a sign from God that homosexuality was OK. 

I don't hate anyone, just don't bleed on me.  That brings up another thought: those exposed to the blood at the shooting are going to be at increased risk for HIV and Hepatitis C, illnesses associated with the gay lifestyle.  Everyone from victims, bystanders, first responders, and those tasked with cleaning the mess are now at an increased risk.  I know they have drugs for HIV prevention after exposure, but I don't think they have any drugs to prevent catching Hepatitis C.  They do have drugs to cure it, though. 

There's a guy at work who is always telling me how he had Hepatitis C.  Like, every time he talks to me.  I don't know why he would want to share that.  It's an awful disease and pretty contagious.  He did share he was "cured" with a new drug but I am still a little creeped out.  He also told me his wife was an alcoholic. 

Do I really have one of those faces?  Tell me your secrets?  I don't know. 

I tried to take a nap but I was pretty wound up, then we went out for lunch.  Ron was rude and verbally abusive, calling me everything from "limited" to "a child" because I dared offer my opinion on how we should do some things.  It was unpleasant. 

When we got home again, I did take a nap with Biscuit, who was very loving and attentive.  He likes to sleep in bed with me.  He even got in my lap today for a while.  He's really maturing into an awesome cat. 

We got up at 5:30, fed the cats, and took the food away at 6.  No more nums until after Torbie's in her box tomorrow.  They haven't figured it out yet. 

I take away the water after 10. 

Tomorrow's going to be an interesting day.  If you are inclined, please pray for Torbie to have a smooth tumor removal and "good" results from pathology. 

Daddy's drunk

Something odd happened.  Apparently, someone got ahold of our electric bill, went to the payment center, and paid about 4-5 months of service for us, in cash. 

Why? 

Who? 

How? 

I will just take that as a blessing.  I always try to thank God for the good things. 

I overslept today.  We went to Walmart and bought some Pepsi for Ron.  He has been wanting to carry it, but we can only get the 16.9 ounce bottle from Walmart. 

Why go to all this trouble?  I couldn't tell you.  We don't do this for any other drinks, and we get "specialty" requests on occasion. 

We bought the soda and a large box.  We put the soda in the box.  I bought some drink mix and allergy medicine. 

I have been going 'round about the allergy medicine for a while.  If I take the 10 mg dose, I get manic and I don't sleep. 

Doc (my primary, not the "crazy" one) suggested I try a children's dose.  I have been debating doing that because my allergies are pretty bad.  Torbie sleeps in my bed, for instance, and I am allergic to cats.  I am also allergic to grass and mold, and both are everywhere after all the rain we've had. 

Yesterday I had considered getting some, but worried I might be getting it "just" to get manic, which is anathema to me.  I don't want to take "uppers". 

I asked Ron once, since he had known people into drugs, if I got addicted to any drug what did he think I would use?  He said stimulants. 

[sigh]  Today I decided to get some of the children's, a small package, and see how that went.  I will take it in the morning and see how it works for me. 

Maybe a 5 mg dose, instead of the 10 mg "adult" dose, is just what I need.  If it works I can just buy the adult dose and cut it in half. 

I used to do that with my antipsychotic, back when it cost $240 a month.  I would cut it in half and take a half a day. 

Needless to say, I didn't have good symptom control.  Now I realize I could have just told Doc "I can't afford this stuff, please get me a generic" and he would have done so. 

We had a lot of "import" drivers, African men who were very nice.  They all had beautiful accents.  One mentioned his degree, yesterday.  All of them are multilingual. 

I would rather have an African driver than a middle eastern one.  The middle easterners tend to be bossier, dictatorial, and not as skilled at driving.  I was actually in a wreck, a few years ago, with a driver from Iran. 

We got to work and I stocked.  Ron worked on the bottled vendor first, stocking most of the bottled water and putting his Pepsi in the fridge.  We didn't have any more tea but still had plenty in the machine.  I used up a couple of cases of snacks filling the snack machines.  I just realized I forgot to check Snickers. 

Anyway, we stocked.  I finished up a little early and helped Ron with sodas.  He was in a pissy mood. 

It began pouring right about the time I would have normally nagged Ron to go outside.  We waited until the rain had abated somewhat, because they told use our ride home was late.  He wasn't.

He was very nice about it, though. 

I took a nap when we got home, even though it was "later".  I was able to get a pretty good nap and woke up with Torbie.  I even had a dream about her. 

I got up and Ron was still in a bad mood.  He offered to call me a cab so we could go out, but I didn't feel like it.  I just ate some cereal and took my pills.  All the restaurants are really busy on the weekend, anyway. 

Ron's out on the catio with the cats.  He has been pretty good about their "diet".  He feeds them the same way he used to, with the food.  That is a problem, by the way.  He is pretty good about not treating them, until he starts drinking every night. 

I can practically hear the cats singing "Daddy's drunk!" as he breaks out the treat containers and treats them lavishly.  It's only one hour a day but enough to wreck the whole day's work.  It is impossible to reason with him. 

He says it is better to have a short "happy" life, than a long "miserable" one, and they will be happier dead anyway.  To that, I replied "Why don't you just put them all down?" 

He had no answer for that. 

Maybe

Let me throw my clothes in the dryer before I get started.

OK, done. 

I woke up today more depressed than usual.  Gravy's death has been extraordinarily hard on me.  I think, because he "could have been saved" (to have a terrible quality of life), unlike my other euthanasias, where the cat was going to die anyway. 

I loved Bubba and Frosty "more" than Gravy, I think, but I don't recall their deaths being so hard on me.  Maybe I just chose to blot it out. 

We tend to "erase" painful memories, you know. 

I'm not necessarily grieving him every day, I am over that, but I think the grief set off chemical changes in my brain that are hard to undo.  I suppose.  I will ask Doc when we have our "visit" in a couple of weeks. 

Anyway, more depressed than usual.  I did my God Time later and took my shower.  Happily, I did not need to shave my legs. 

We went to Walmart.  I needed a couple of things, make a deposit, buy candy for the vet's office, buy protein bars, put in a refill on my medication, etc.  I did all that. 

I had time to shop for clothes.  Have you ever shopped for clothes while depressed?  It's pretty horrible.  I told myself I would look for the "good' shorts, and if I found them buy a pair.  While in the area, I looked at bras and found a likely victim, a sport bra with sewn-in padding.  I don't like the removable pads, they bunch up and make me look deformed. 

I left with *just* a pair of shorts and a bra, also a depressed shopping thing.  I do have to admit my money is lasting a lot farther with the depression. 

Which is good, we have bills to pay. 

I even got my protein bars, which is good because I eat them for breakfast. 

We had a pretty good ride home but we were very crowded together in the back of the vehicle, my purchases, me, Ron, and another client, on a bench seat in the back of a minivan. 

When we got home I ate a little (I had gotten something from McDonald's) and took my pills.  I had run out of them in my organizer so I had to get them individually out of the bottles.  Later on, I "did them up" into the appropriate AM/PM/DAY of the week compartments.  For a change, I didn't add any supplements.  I think it's probably a good idea to clean out my system now and then (not doing some moronic colon cleanse). 

Then I took a nap.  Biscuit is starting to hang out with me when I sleep, and was curled up behind my legs when I woke up.   I did my God Time. 

I watched a little TV.  Ron and I tried to figure out the mystery of who paid $$$ on our electric bill.  That's a lot of money!  He verified, it didn't come out of any of our accounts. 

I watched a little more TV.  I am plotting some internet purchases in the next couple days. 

I checked the mail.  Boy, some days that seems as hard as my shower, but I did it and verified we didn't have anything vital lurking in the box.  I am looking forward to taking 'fun things" like flea medicine for cats, wireless headphones for Ron, and God knows what for me, next week. 

Maybe I'll be manic by then. 

Interesting people

Last night I "poisoned" the cats. 

I got the flea drops, uncapped them, punched a hole in the vial (the only thing I don't like about the Advecta brand, it's a little harder to do that), and started scruffing the cats.  I grabbed them by the back of their necks and administered the potion. 

The cats are all fine today, their usual selves. 

Biscuit was pretty indifferent.  Baby Girl practically yawned, but she's really only lived with us and I never grabbed her by the back of the neck.  Torbie has some PTSD from her time at the shelter and is very sensitive to being scruffed.  She carried on like I was raping her and then ran off and hid.  I am sure everyone grabbed her by the back of the neck, at the shelter. 

Finally done, I went to bed.  I got to sleep in this morning but no nap later.  I slept OK but had some odd dreams. 

I woke up, did my shower and God Time.  I called the wholesale company and verified they had our pickup order.  Apparently, the pickup orders are quite popular (at least from what I saw).  Yes, they had it.  $215. 

I watched a little TV and tried to get over my depression/anxiety.  I was already exhausted and I hadn't even started yet. 

Ron talked to our driver, who convinced us to try running by a Sam's club to see if they had the "good" water.  We went by, and sure enough we found it.  I got 8 cases. 

It was very crowded, around lunchtime.  The manager rang me up since I "only" had 8 items and all the same item, at that.  I had a very short receipt.

One of the cart attendants helped me load the truck.  He was very sweet and said I had a lovely smile.  I grinned at him. 

I took a last drink of the (I pay for it so it doesn't go in the sales tax exempt transaction) diet soda and threw it away. 

"Why'd you do that?" he asked.  He could tell I wanted to finish the drink. 
"The driver won't let me take it in the truck". 
"Why not?" 
"Worried about the leather (seats)". 
"Really?" 
"Yeah.  Everyone I know with leather seats is all 'Don't hurt the leather!""
"Huh!"
"Yeah.  Thanks again!" 

We headed off to the wholesale place.  The driver got lost and was looking at his cell phone while driving.  I worry at times. 

We finally got there and we went "By the ramp" as I was directed by the "girl" who took my order.  I wandered in and found someone in charge, who told me to go to the window.  The pickup business was booming.  They had a forklift and pallets of water going into the back of someone's truck.  Someone else was buying breakroom supplies. 

I wanted coffee vending items.  Mary (our longtime rep) helped me. 

She told me the order was $200.15.  Not $215.  I scrounged some change out of my pocket and gave it to her "exact".  She was happy and had me sign after I inspected the goods.  What I ordered, in good shape.  Gimme that pen.

Our driver backed up the truck.  They loaded the items without waiting for him to get out and unlock the tailgate.  That's kind of a "thing" with him.  I understand why he does it but people don't like to wait. 

The vending stuff hung out happily with the cases of bottled water.  We went to work. 

I had no idea how I was going to unload the cart.  I only have 3 carts.  One folds and has a bad wheel.  The other two were loaded up with merchandise. 

I realized, though, I only needed the top of one cart, to put the water, as it was going right into the fridge anyway.  I cleared the easiest one off and got that started.  Then I put the folding cart on top of that. 

I was very careful pulling the cart out to the parking area.  I didn't want the folder falling off and hurting me, or someone else. 

I got out there and loaded the coffee supplies on the folding cart, and the water onto the other cart.  I dragged them both into the building.  I put the water next to the fridge for Ron, and he got it.  He can basically let it fall down onto his lap and then push it into the fridge. 

Snacks looked terrible so I got started on that.  I had some complaints so I fixed that.  One customer was angry and accused me of doing a bad stocking job "And now it won't sell it to me".  I had to explain that the motor was bad, not the stocking.  I told her I would move the product to another row and change the price on it, so it would remain 70 cents.  I sold her the item she wanted and made change.  She was happy after that. 

Someone else was very angry a machine wouldn't take his money.  As it turns out, it had eaten a really poor-condition dollar bill, that's why it wasn't working.  Once I got that out it was fine. 

It makes such a happy little whirring sound when I clear a bill jam.  Almost as good: the sound when I clear a coin jam and everything avalanches down into the mechanism. 

Someone tried to (she said) buy an item when the vending machine door was open.  I don't know why they do that.  I got her product and change. 

All this while stocking snacks and helping Ron.  "Heather, what's this?"  Holding up a can of soda.  I do that all day long. 

One reason I see Ron's job as "assisted", he really can't do it on his own, even if he were able bodied. 

Finally done with snacks, I moved onto the coffee vending machine.  It basically pays for itself.  It does not make any "real" profit. 

I emptied the "yuck bucket" (waste bucket), which wasn't too high.  I filled coffee cups.  I added coffee grounds.  I added sugar and decided to wait on doing the cream.  I added hot chocolate, so happy I finally had it, and closed the machine. 

I need to get a scrub brush and some cleanser next time I come in.  It's getting a little sticky on the front end.  Finally done with that. 

Ron needed help.  I ran to his rescue.  I decided to stock the bottled vendor as our time was getting short, Ron was frantically rolling to and from the stockroom in his wheelchair, cases of soda in his lap, and acting rushed. 

I got the cart and loaded it with the drinks that needed to be replaced, then I got cold drinks out of the fridge.  I put the "warm" drinks into the fridge to chill and locked it up again. 

I took the cart (the folder, if you care) back to the bottled vendor and stocked, then I did the change bank because it needed dimes.  When prices are at a dollar fifteen, you need dimes.  With chips at 70 cents, I go through an endless amount of nickels.  {Filling} Change banks are a part of every service call. 

Finally done.  I was exhausted.  The lady who was supposed to meet us for a refund never showed. 

We had a really interesting ride home with a man from Ivory Coast, Africa.  French is the official language there.  He had a lovely accent. 

"You must speak at least 4 languages" I told him, and he nodded.

I meet some interesting people. 

Compatibility View

A rather high-stakes drama today. 

It was technically a day off, but I did a lot of work.  After I got up, shower, God Time, I called in our "pickup" order at the vending supply wholesale guys.  These guys are the Walmart of vending.  You need it, they have it.  They have a lot of supplies for everything from frozen cooked sandwiches to sno-cone syrup. 

I called in some coffee machine vending powders, and cups.  I need both, particularly hot chocolate. 

I did that.  The first time someone hung up on me.  But I (hopefully) got the order in. 

I took a nap, then Ron and I started work on the monthly report.  If you know accounting, it is a profit and loss statement.  Not really a loss statement these days, thank God. 

We did that and Ron ran the final numbers, then we went out to dinner.  We got value meals, they were pretty good.  I thought they gave us 4 hamburgers but it turns out 2 of them were funnel cakes.  Pretty good, too, but greasy.  Needless so say I didn't have trouble taking my pills. 

Now, I have a very old laptop and a more modern desktop.  The database is very old and not compatible with newer systems.  Frustrating. 

I fired up the old thing, as it backfired and rattled it's way to life.  It crashed halfway through the boot process, then Google told me it didn't support the OS anymore for the Chrome browser.  About the only thing I can do online is file the report. 

However, I had a problem.  The page wasn't loading.  I entered the address into my computer and it didn't load either.  I was pretty upset.  The deadline is tomorrow. 

Then I remembered an old email the boss had sent about database issues.  I fired that up.  I clicked on the link and it worked (new computer) but it wouldn't let me input my data.  That, I remembered being the primary problem before.  I looked some more.  It was, to me, complete gibberish.  A bunch of stuff about Java and all.  I did figure out I had to put the website into "compatibility view" so I did that.  I tried it again.  It worked. 

Thank God!  I told Ron I had made the website my bitch, finally, but in truth God did it.  Anyway, I needed the numbers. 

Ron was drinking by this point but still coherent enough to give me the numbers.  It accepted and saved the data.  Yay.  I got that finished and then remembered to bookmark the "good" link, now that I can do the report on my "good" computer.  I am not sure what we will do with the old laptop.  It is vintage 2009.  I mean, solitare crashed tonight. 

Now I have to go medicate my cats.  Their medicine came today.  I am trying a generic version of Advantage because I have been getting some bad reviews, and my vet said the cats had fleas on them even after their treatment. 

Torbie will hate me for a while, but she'll forgive me.