I like to do ministry, to reach out to someone who's strugging (hardworking average people), to see someone smile when I give them a little gift and a smile of my own. I like to see the trust and love in my cats when they yell to get in my lap when I'm on the computer. To see my friends at work light up when they see I'm there. To seek God's will, to do the hard things like forgiving my in laws and the driver who hurt me, to know I'm walking in His will. That is very important for me. I can't stress that enough.
I always leave the house early but I'm human, sometimes I get out later than I'd like. And the drivers, if they see me, wait. They don't have to do that, but they like having me ride. I get a lot of smiles and my friends were distraught when I got hurt in March.
Others? They feel special and valued when they're going off on a retail worker or a bus driver, who they see as sub human. They get their kicks out of cussing us out and trying to get us fired. They don't have any other way to find value and meaning in their lives. I can only imagine the hell of their personal lives if that's how they relate to others. I need to pray for them, more.
Recently a customer was watching me for about 15 minutes. She walked over after I finished helping someone and asked "Do they always speak to you that way?" And, the answer is, pretty much. She thought that was awful. It is.
But I do ask God to work on my pride, my humility, I don't want to get "puffed up" like Paul said about his problem. My job, the way I'm treated there, physical problems, all of it work to my dependence and obedience, work on my usefulness to God.
I want to be useful to God. I want to bring Him honor and glory. I don't want to be ashamed of how I'm living my life (I have, in the past). That makes me feel valuable and important.
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