I slept OK but just dead today. I think I am sliding into depression.
I got up, took my shower, helped Ron, fed my cats. I read something interesting last night "No Free Ride" for a feral kitten (which I have, apparently), they must submit to petting while they eat and then gradually handled when they eat, working up to petting in your lap. "Don't" they said in the strongest terms: Do not just put the food down and walk away.
OOops! So I went out there prepared to pet. They were pretty hungry but Cleo wouldn't even come by, I think she is still nursing. Spot reluctantly came over, not crazy about the petting, shied away several times...but MEOW MIX won out.
That is why I am feeding this to the cats. Yes, they could be eating a "better" food but the primary short term goal is fattening them up. I noticed, petting Spot, that is he is still pretty bony - I could feel his backbone and hips, and I have been feeding generously for a week. It is very tempting to them and they are eating a lot, which can only be good.
I walked away pretty happy with the progress. Spot wouldn't let me pet him at all a week ago, and he allowed quite a bit of petting this morning (and later).
We went to work, stocking away. Things were dead so not much to do. Then Ron's doctor calls and says "Oh, by the way, we need to reschedule your 1 PM to 11 AM". Uh, that's a problem when you don't drive. Ron called dispatch, got a supervisor, one who likes him.
Safe to say Ron is so well liked, they will "come down" the office building to the lobby to say Hi to us when we drop by once a year to get his pass. It is a huge building with many employees but some will always run down to say hello and meet us.
So this lady likes Ron. I think he reminds her of her husband.
She rearranged the pickup time to 9:30, which later changed to 10. We went out at 9:25 of course, so we had plenty of time sitting around. I told Ron I need to get my eyes checked. He was very supportive.
I found my local low cost eye place (the one you see on TV, with the owl). I scheduled an appointment on my phone, I had not done anything like that before. They will see me tomorrow. They have a 2 (lined, which I prefer) bifocals deal for $99. I have that saved up for glasses, so excellent.
Ron said he would take me on paratransit and then we could take a cab home, so that will save us $20. I agreed, surprised he would even go. He hates going places with me lately.
Our ride eventually came and we had a straight trip to the doctor. Doc saw us pretty fast. Ron had not wanted to talk to Doc about the Kratom yet, but after this last weekend when it worked so well he did. As I have said, there is nothing in the contract about legal drugs so I didn't see an issue with him using the kratom.
Doc had heard of it. He said it was fine to use. Ron then disclosed he had been using it. Did it help? Tremendously. Excellent, keep it up. So we have a medical blessing.
Ron also mentioned the brain fog he has had lately, doc said that is the painkiller and to cut it in half. Good to hear that.
We went out to wait on a cab (it was a while) and one of the other patients came in. You see the same patients again and again at the center. They come in once a month like us so we see them repeatedly.
This was an older man and his very elderly mother. He is the caregiver. She was moaning and babbling in another language, she has some cognitive issues but seemed worse today. The caregiver mentioned she (his mother) had fallen yesterday.
About 10 minutes later, I heard the doctor's voice saying, quite loudly "You need to take her to a hospital, she has a broken ankle! They are prepared to treat this and I am not." The man protested repeatedly and the doctor kept telling him they had to go to the hospital. I am not sure how it ended, hopefully with the woman in the hospital.
But it was, to me, a pretty classical case of caregiver burnout. That older man was so burned out caring for his mother he had burned up all his compassion. He had nothing left It was a good cautionary tale for me.
I told Ron about a meme I saw on Facebook "You can't pour from an empty glass, take care of yourself". He found that very profound and I was very glad I had made that eye care appointment.
Our cab (Alex this time) came and Ron had some trouble getting in. And Ron is slim. I had to shove him in once he got his butt on the seat. It wasn't professional but it did the job.
We went straight home. I fed my cats, and then took some food outside. Mama and Spot came over,more petting for both of them. They sure like that Meow Mix. I will keep feeding it unless the vet tells me it is crap.
I saw Cleo but we are in a battle of wills, no pet, no eat. She can always nurse if she gets very hungry. Mama still has plenty of milk.
I went back inside and took a nap. I was awakened around 2:30 by the yard guys. I never know when they are coming but they work for free so who cares? My cats fled in terror. I could only imagine the chaos with the cats outside trying to hide. Again, I need to get them in the house.
I did call the vet earlier and the office lady said she would send me an estimate on getting Mama cat checked out. Well, it isn't cheap, more expensive than my glasses will be - but I need to get her checked for FLV. I am pretty certain there will be biting, scratching, fluids exchanged when I bring her in the house. Not to mention sharing the water bowl.
I was sort of hoping I could do the checkup/shots and then the spay shortly after, looks like I will have to wait a few weeks on that. Ron would help if he could, I'm sure, but he has to save up $418.50 for his next yearly pass, due in early August. And we have to try to pay back savings because we have taken a lot (to me) out recently (not for vet care).
I will make it happen somehow.
Happily we can pay all the bills. Ron is still unhappy with his cell phone but it can make and receive calls so I am not worried. I found an Alcatel flip phone on the Walmart site, but the customer service people (never used that chat before) said it doesn't talk. Well, fooey. That would have been great.
I will do some hunting on the Jitterbug website and see what they can offer. They have phones for seniors so presumably something easy, with a loud volume, and a talker for bad eyes. Half of all people over 80 are blind. So there's a good market for a basic, simple, talking phone. I just need to find it.
Worst case I will go to the NFB (national federation of the blind) and see what they suggest. I see a lot of I phones at the vending conferences (a lot of well paid vendors attending). I'll figure it out.
So tonight Ron is taking me out to the buffet restaurant. I feel like I deserve it after the last several days. Tomorrow I will get up early, do my kettlebells, have a nice shower, and go to the eye place. Then I am done for the day.
It will be good to go to bed tonight, it's been a long day. I am so glad we are clear on the kratom so I can tell medical people he takes it and has his doctor's blessing.
Monday, July 22, 2019
Sunday, July 21, 2019
Sunday
Pretty quiet day. Ron has been OK for pain and has spent the day in bed. And they wonder why he gets blood clots!
He just told me he doesn't like to eat because food is digested and must come out (he was cruder). He used to say that after the accident, when I first brought him home. Thank God for the meat sticks so he is getting at least some protein and fat.
I did my workout, took my shower, watched some TV for a while, talked to Ron, visited my new cats. Spotty let me pet him while he ate but Cleo is still "scary" as one of my friends put it (fearful). I will have to work on her. She watches everything I do with her mom and brother and I haven't eaten or kicked them yet. So maybe she will warm up. I can't get her a home until she is social.
Then I took a nap with Torbie. I don't require much of Torbie, but I adore it when she sleeps with me. I am happy with just that, don't have to do anything else but sleep with me. She terrorizes Ron for treats by rubbing against his leg (he has nerve disease and it is painful to him, and she knows that). I wouldn't want to cross her!
We had a good nap, but I woke up with a headache. I had a diet Dr Pepper in the fridge for just such an occasion and I drank it, got on the computer, more cat time, until it faded. Then I put on my workout clothes and put some money in my pocket.
I brought my stun gun, too, and a good thing. I headed out to the gas station near our home. It is about a 20 minute walk. It isn't far but it is not all sidewalk and I have to pick my way carefully in some areas or risk turning an ankle.
I got there and found they had the big cups. I was really happy about that. The diet green tea looked best so I got that. Then I found my beloved banana pudding. I also found a tres leches cake (slice) which I will probably have for breakfast tomorrow.
I took my stuff up to the register, paid,and sat down in their little eating area. I ate the pudding, it was very good, as always. Then I headed home. Pretty uneventful except my lid came off and got green tea all over my shirt and bra. But it was refreshing.
And again, another dog running loose and unsupervised. This one was aggressive and tried to chase me until I got out my stun gun and basically told it "Bring it, M-F". It backed off, still barking, I could hear it for blocks. I don't really worry about needing to use the stun gun on strangers, but I have had to almost use it on several dogs.
I would bet money it was not neutered, that makes them more aggressive. If you are going to have an animal you need to take care of it. My animals have food, water, a clean place to crap at all times. Somewhere safe to sleep. Lots of petting and positive attention. Spay and neuter surgeries, vet care, etc. Toys and positive bonding time with me and Ron. And we both have brain damage, if we can do it anyone can. We are not rich, either.
I got home, Cleo was on the porch directly in front of the door, the other 2 cats were under the chair on the porch. I had fed them right before I left so they were pretty fat and happy. It was nice to see them feeling safe and lazy. But that dog just spurs me to getting them in the house ASAP. It is NOT safe for them.
I think I will have an easier time "taming" the kittens inside, too. My cats can demonstrate we are cool and have never eaten a cat in our lives. That's the hope.
Ron set up tomorrow so we have a very long day at work and then go to the pain doctor. He will need a doctor after all that time in the wheelchair! I am charging my Kindle so I will have something to read.
I rounded up all the clothes the other day, when I got home I did another sweep, took off my workout clothes, and loaded the washer, turning it on. And about halfway through the cycle I remembered I wanted to wash my microfiber towels in the same load. Oh, well. The towels aren't dirty, but one has some chalk on it from my last kettle bell workout and I use the bathroom towel every day so it probably could stand a wash. I may run a just towels load after this one finishes.
Ron was pretty much naked all week at home so very little to wash for him. He did make it easy on me.
I have my devices (phone, Kindle) charging so I can take them tomorrow. I still have about $100 out of my pay, but nothing in the online account.
I did tell Ron he would have to help me buy more kratom. Regulations are making it harder to purchase so that is challenging. Ron was profoundly grateful I had it and it helped him last night. That was pretty rugged for both of us. I hope you have never had to hear a loved one scream in pain half the night, it is very wearing.
I am so glad I just curl up in a ball with a migraine, if anything I get very quiet and Ron can't hear me talking.
I plan to take tomorrow off working out, I did 2 workouts today, 3 if you count the walk to and from the store separately. I was gentle to myself, I had good times but I did not tax myself. I feel good after finishing. I read a book and she basically said that, you should feel good after you finish your workout and not exhausted. That was something I needed to hear.
You should be moving, too - I see a lot of people "walking" the neighborhood who are moving very slowly, and they are young and healthy. I am unsure of the point of this "exercise" - they might as well be sitting at a desk. A senior or someone with an apparent disability I could understand, but not this.
My other favorite. The farthest house from the park is about a mile, most are significantly closer. So people get in their cars, drive to the park, walk the trail, drive back home. Why not just walk from home? Or my most favorite, driving 50 yards to the mailbox. Are you really in that bad of shape?
I got the clothes out of the dryer (forgot about them in there) and am waiting on the washer to finish so I can toss everything in the dryer. Not a big hurry, Ron and I have clothes for tomorrow.
I just like to get the sweaty workout clothes washed quickly. I spent some money (about $25 per outfit) and I would like to see it as a long term investment. So I got them washed with some of the scent beads in addition to the Tide pack.
I do not wash my bedding in scented detergent - during my last migraine I had a "scented pillowcase" and was miserable with the scent climbing up into my head and throbbing in pain. I wouldn't wish that on anyone and can I say again SO glad I never had kids to get this?
Both the migraines and the mental illness are very inherited.
He just told me he doesn't like to eat because food is digested and must come out (he was cruder). He used to say that after the accident, when I first brought him home. Thank God for the meat sticks so he is getting at least some protein and fat.
I did my workout, took my shower, watched some TV for a while, talked to Ron, visited my new cats. Spotty let me pet him while he ate but Cleo is still "scary" as one of my friends put it (fearful). I will have to work on her. She watches everything I do with her mom and brother and I haven't eaten or kicked them yet. So maybe she will warm up. I can't get her a home until she is social.
Then I took a nap with Torbie. I don't require much of Torbie, but I adore it when she sleeps with me. I am happy with just that, don't have to do anything else but sleep with me. She terrorizes Ron for treats by rubbing against his leg (he has nerve disease and it is painful to him, and she knows that). I wouldn't want to cross her!
We had a good nap, but I woke up with a headache. I had a diet Dr Pepper in the fridge for just such an occasion and I drank it, got on the computer, more cat time, until it faded. Then I put on my workout clothes and put some money in my pocket.
I brought my stun gun, too, and a good thing. I headed out to the gas station near our home. It is about a 20 minute walk. It isn't far but it is not all sidewalk and I have to pick my way carefully in some areas or risk turning an ankle.
I got there and found they had the big cups. I was really happy about that. The diet green tea looked best so I got that. Then I found my beloved banana pudding. I also found a tres leches cake (slice) which I will probably have for breakfast tomorrow.
I took my stuff up to the register, paid,and sat down in their little eating area. I ate the pudding, it was very good, as always. Then I headed home. Pretty uneventful except my lid came off and got green tea all over my shirt and bra. But it was refreshing.
And again, another dog running loose and unsupervised. This one was aggressive and tried to chase me until I got out my stun gun and basically told it "Bring it, M-F". It backed off, still barking, I could hear it for blocks. I don't really worry about needing to use the stun gun on strangers, but I have had to almost use it on several dogs.
I would bet money it was not neutered, that makes them more aggressive. If you are going to have an animal you need to take care of it. My animals have food, water, a clean place to crap at all times. Somewhere safe to sleep. Lots of petting and positive attention. Spay and neuter surgeries, vet care, etc. Toys and positive bonding time with me and Ron. And we both have brain damage, if we can do it anyone can. We are not rich, either.
I got home, Cleo was on the porch directly in front of the door, the other 2 cats were under the chair on the porch. I had fed them right before I left so they were pretty fat and happy. It was nice to see them feeling safe and lazy. But that dog just spurs me to getting them in the house ASAP. It is NOT safe for them.
I think I will have an easier time "taming" the kittens inside, too. My cats can demonstrate we are cool and have never eaten a cat in our lives. That's the hope.
Ron set up tomorrow so we have a very long day at work and then go to the pain doctor. He will need a doctor after all that time in the wheelchair! I am charging my Kindle so I will have something to read.
I rounded up all the clothes the other day, when I got home I did another sweep, took off my workout clothes, and loaded the washer, turning it on. And about halfway through the cycle I remembered I wanted to wash my microfiber towels in the same load. Oh, well. The towels aren't dirty, but one has some chalk on it from my last kettle bell workout and I use the bathroom towel every day so it probably could stand a wash. I may run a just towels load after this one finishes.
Ron was pretty much naked all week at home so very little to wash for him. He did make it easy on me.
I have my devices (phone, Kindle) charging so I can take them tomorrow. I still have about $100 out of my pay, but nothing in the online account.
I did tell Ron he would have to help me buy more kratom. Regulations are making it harder to purchase so that is challenging. Ron was profoundly grateful I had it and it helped him last night. That was pretty rugged for both of us. I hope you have never had to hear a loved one scream in pain half the night, it is very wearing.
I am so glad I just curl up in a ball with a migraine, if anything I get very quiet and Ron can't hear me talking.
I plan to take tomorrow off working out, I did 2 workouts today, 3 if you count the walk to and from the store separately. I was gentle to myself, I had good times but I did not tax myself. I feel good after finishing. I read a book and she basically said that, you should feel good after you finish your workout and not exhausted. That was something I needed to hear.
You should be moving, too - I see a lot of people "walking" the neighborhood who are moving very slowly, and they are young and healthy. I am unsure of the point of this "exercise" - they might as well be sitting at a desk. A senior or someone with an apparent disability I could understand, but not this.
My other favorite. The farthest house from the park is about a mile, most are significantly closer. So people get in their cars, drive to the park, walk the trail, drive back home. Why not just walk from home? Or my most favorite, driving 50 yards to the mailbox. Are you really in that bad of shape?
I got the clothes out of the dryer (forgot about them in there) and am waiting on the washer to finish so I can toss everything in the dryer. Not a big hurry, Ron and I have clothes for tomorrow.
I just like to get the sweaty workout clothes washed quickly. I spent some money (about $25 per outfit) and I would like to see it as a long term investment. So I got them washed with some of the scent beads in addition to the Tide pack.
I do not wash my bedding in scented detergent - during my last migraine I had a "scented pillowcase" and was miserable with the scent climbing up into my head and throbbing in pain. I wouldn't wish that on anyone and can I say again SO glad I never had kids to get this?
Both the migraines and the mental illness are very inherited.
Intractable pain (his)
Normally Ron's pain is pretty well controlled. He has his prescription and he will occasionally ask me for Kratom in a strained voice, I give it to him, he gets relief. Sometimes I hear him murmuring in pain and I offer the Kratom. He gets relief.
Last night I kept giving him Kratom and he kept screaming in pain. It was horrible. You don't even want to hear anyone like that. I tried to remind myself of all the asshole things he has done and that helped a little. I just told Ron about that and he laughed and told me he loved me.
So, horrible. I finally got enough Kratom in him to reduce the screaming, it tapered off for a few hours then started up again. Red Elephant seemed to be working the best (we were given a sample) so I gave him a gram of that in the middle of the night, he had a drink (ginger ale) out of his fridge. We went back to bed, he was quiet and we both slept.
I got up at 7, fed the inside cats, put on my bathrobe and went out to feed the outside cats. Last night I had been petting Mama when she put her back up and went into an aggressive posture. I looked and a medium sized dog was approaching, some sort of foo-foo breed, it had been groomed (fur trimmed) recently but was dirty. It wasn't aggressive but it wanted the food and water. I ran it off, Cleo helped, tiny little thing put her back up and hissed at the dog. It tried to come back but I shooed it off again. I have enough rescues on my hands.
The cats calmed down after that, I gave Mama more petting and Spot let me touch the top of his head while he ate. That one's a big eater. He's going to be huge.
This morning I didn't see them on the porch and I worried about them, but Mama and the kittens came from different directions, they apparently roam pretty far. Mama came right up for petting and food, the kittens were a little slower. Spot almost gave me a heart attack when he stopped to investigate a road kill in the middle of our street.
Get out of the street! I need to get them in the house.
I need to get more kratom. I need to get the mother vetted and checked for FLV. Then I can get the cats inside the house. I have some money saved to get a dental filling and some new glasses, I need to do that as well.
We see the pain doctor on Monday, I will have to remind Ron to drink a lot of water.
I went to check on Ron, he was awake so I asked him how he was doing (clearly not screaming in pain). He said he felt great and I said lets get a big shot of kratom into you and make sure the pain does not come back. He was OK with that. I don't have a lot of Red Elephant capsules and I didn't want to use them all up - I wanted to give him one big shot. So I decided to use the powder.
We got an ounce of powder with one order, Red Elephant. It didn't help with my migraines but it works great on Ron.
I had the orange juice bottles (I got them delivered, little 10 ounce bottles) delivered a while back for a time like this. I took a drink off the orange juice and then measured some kratom into the bottle and shook vigorously. That worked pretty well. I shook and shook.
I took it to Ron when it appeared well blended and he chugged it. I reminded him if he can chug rotgut generic brand vodka straight from the bottle he could get this, and he did. It was pretty unpleasant for him but now I don't need to worry.
He said he needed a drink after that and I couldn't blame him, I bet it was bad. He is still in there now, though. I just hope he stops in time before he has a blackout, I have asked him if he'll let me take him back to bed a few times and he has declined.
Plan today is to do my bike workout, shower, nap, and then walk over to the gas station later and get a parfait. It's only 9, I've been up a while.
At least I don't have to worry about Ron screaming all day. I will make sure he gives me some money as soon as he can, to buy Kratom. It does not work for my migraines so it is all "his". I can only take it on rare occasion for a moderate headache and it does very well for that.
Funny it will work on Ron's intractable pain but not on my migraines. Are the migraines worse? Interesting question. Everyone has a different pain tolerance.
I want to view Ron as a tough, tenacious, guy with a high tolerance for pain.
Last night I kept giving him Kratom and he kept screaming in pain. It was horrible. You don't even want to hear anyone like that. I tried to remind myself of all the asshole things he has done and that helped a little. I just told Ron about that and he laughed and told me he loved me.
So, horrible. I finally got enough Kratom in him to reduce the screaming, it tapered off for a few hours then started up again. Red Elephant seemed to be working the best (we were given a sample) so I gave him a gram of that in the middle of the night, he had a drink (ginger ale) out of his fridge. We went back to bed, he was quiet and we both slept.
I got up at 7, fed the inside cats, put on my bathrobe and went out to feed the outside cats. Last night I had been petting Mama when she put her back up and went into an aggressive posture. I looked and a medium sized dog was approaching, some sort of foo-foo breed, it had been groomed (fur trimmed) recently but was dirty. It wasn't aggressive but it wanted the food and water. I ran it off, Cleo helped, tiny little thing put her back up and hissed at the dog. It tried to come back but I shooed it off again. I have enough rescues on my hands.
The cats calmed down after that, I gave Mama more petting and Spot let me touch the top of his head while he ate. That one's a big eater. He's going to be huge.
This morning I didn't see them on the porch and I worried about them, but Mama and the kittens came from different directions, they apparently roam pretty far. Mama came right up for petting and food, the kittens were a little slower. Spot almost gave me a heart attack when he stopped to investigate a road kill in the middle of our street.
Get out of the street! I need to get them in the house.
I need to get more kratom. I need to get the mother vetted and checked for FLV. Then I can get the cats inside the house. I have some money saved to get a dental filling and some new glasses, I need to do that as well.
We see the pain doctor on Monday, I will have to remind Ron to drink a lot of water.
I went to check on Ron, he was awake so I asked him how he was doing (clearly not screaming in pain). He said he felt great and I said lets get a big shot of kratom into you and make sure the pain does not come back. He was OK with that. I don't have a lot of Red Elephant capsules and I didn't want to use them all up - I wanted to give him one big shot. So I decided to use the powder.
We got an ounce of powder with one order, Red Elephant. It didn't help with my migraines but it works great on Ron.
I had the orange juice bottles (I got them delivered, little 10 ounce bottles) delivered a while back for a time like this. I took a drink off the orange juice and then measured some kratom into the bottle and shook vigorously. That worked pretty well. I shook and shook.
I took it to Ron when it appeared well blended and he chugged it. I reminded him if he can chug rotgut generic brand vodka straight from the bottle he could get this, and he did. It was pretty unpleasant for him but now I don't need to worry.
He said he needed a drink after that and I couldn't blame him, I bet it was bad. He is still in there now, though. I just hope he stops in time before he has a blackout, I have asked him if he'll let me take him back to bed a few times and he has declined.
Plan today is to do my bike workout, shower, nap, and then walk over to the gas station later and get a parfait. It's only 9, I've been up a while.
At least I don't have to worry about Ron screaming all day. I will make sure he gives me some money as soon as he can, to buy Kratom. It does not work for my migraines so it is all "his". I can only take it on rare occasion for a moderate headache and it does very well for that.
Funny it will work on Ron's intractable pain but not on my migraines. Are the migraines worse? Interesting question. Everyone has a different pain tolerance.
I want to view Ron as a tough, tenacious, guy with a high tolerance for pain.
Saturday, July 20, 2019
Kitten pics and Saturday
Who wants kitten pictures? You do. And you want them first so I will give them to you.
A lot of people in my family are real photo bugs, one is a professional, one could be. Clearly I am not but you get the idea. Small calico is very shy, I named her Cleo. Small orange and white male is Spot, and then Mama calico.
I slept OK, but didn't want to get up and take a walk so I did it later. Did get up and got us both ready, off we went to the warehouse. I bought our supplies, not a heck of a lot because it has been slow.
Jack came and took us to work.
Yesterday they were waxing part of our area. It involves using a floor stripper, buffer, mopping, etc. It is a long and involved process where no one can walk on the floor. They asked if we were working Saturday, I said yes, please don't wax in front of the machines.
I went in and found them stripping the floor in front of the vending machines. I was quite unhappy. I told them I would send all the angry postal workers in their direction when they couldn't get their snacks. They ran off (I wasn't that mad!). I brought everything in but they had to finish buffing, etc. so we only got about half our time.
We did what we could and left, our ride was very timely which was great as it was oppressively hot and humid with bright sun. Heat advisories today.
My feet were killing me, I had planned on taking a walk but my feet said no to that. It was not injury or bad footwear pain, but the pain of wearing heavy workboots, carrying heavy objects, and manipulating over 200 pounds of meat on those feet. For hours. I walked over 7K steps just at work.
So I came home,took my pills (I had to be sharp to do sales tax), and took a nap. I got up and my feet were still sore, so I put on some flip flops and got ready for our Walmart grocery delivery.
Ron got up, we talked for a while. He drank some but was reasonable. I got my text that the guy was on the way.
He came, brought everything in the garage, and saw the cats. He asked if I had any puppies. I told him about our local shelter, they do great work. He took the information down. Nice to know I probably saved a dog's life today.
I put everything in the house. It is a good thing I got more kitten food, these guys are eating a lot. Spotty in particular, he has a very intent mannerism when he eats that reminds me of Bubba.
I was feeling better so I put on my shoes, went outside, and visited with the cats for a while, then took a walk.
I was chased by an ice cream truck for a good half mile. I found that very funny. I didn't have any cash on me even if I wanted to buy something (I didn't). It is so hot all I want is some yogurt.
I saw a creepy old man at the park. He lives near the park and likes to stand in his driveway staring at the surroundings for hours at a time, particularly when the kids are coming home from school, which I personally find disturbing. But he is pretty frail looking so I doubt he could abduct or molest anyone. This time, though, he had gone to the park and stood in the middle of the jogging trail. I played "chicken" with him and he got out of the way. But he just stood there, off to the side, staring vacantly.
I know he gets Meals on Wheels (I have seen the truck) but I think he needs more help, maybe a day program. But I am up to my eyeballs in caregiving right now and NOT going to get involved. His "meals" volunteer can make a report to social services if he declines. That's one reason they do the program.
I had a good walk in spite of him and the ice cream truck. It was very hot and I got sweaty but I don't mind working out. Once I get started.
I checked the mail, came home, and played with the cats, got some photos. I love how they are "owning" my porch. I do need to get that mother fixed.
You can see she is tiny in comparison to her kittens, she is so friendly she must have been someone's pet, probably thrown out when she got pregnant. A lot of people drop animals in our subdivision because most of the houses are very nice and we are not far from the freeway. Some animals get dumped ON the freeway, I hear. Jerks.
Ron is having a bad day for pain and is opting for vodka instead of kratom. Not a good choice but I did ask him to be reasonable tonight.
I shouldn't have to ask, but there you have it.
That's it for now.
Edit: I did get him to take some Kratom.
A lot of people in my family are real photo bugs, one is a professional, one could be. Clearly I am not but you get the idea. Small calico is very shy, I named her Cleo. Small orange and white male is Spot, and then Mama calico.
I slept OK, but didn't want to get up and take a walk so I did it later. Did get up and got us both ready, off we went to the warehouse. I bought our supplies, not a heck of a lot because it has been slow.
Jack came and took us to work.
Yesterday they were waxing part of our area. It involves using a floor stripper, buffer, mopping, etc. It is a long and involved process where no one can walk on the floor. They asked if we were working Saturday, I said yes, please don't wax in front of the machines.
I went in and found them stripping the floor in front of the vending machines. I was quite unhappy. I told them I would send all the angry postal workers in their direction when they couldn't get their snacks. They ran off (I wasn't that mad!). I brought everything in but they had to finish buffing, etc. so we only got about half our time.
We did what we could and left, our ride was very timely which was great as it was oppressively hot and humid with bright sun. Heat advisories today.
My feet were killing me, I had planned on taking a walk but my feet said no to that. It was not injury or bad footwear pain, but the pain of wearing heavy workboots, carrying heavy objects, and manipulating over 200 pounds of meat on those feet. For hours. I walked over 7K steps just at work.
So I came home,took my pills (I had to be sharp to do sales tax), and took a nap. I got up and my feet were still sore, so I put on some flip flops and got ready for our Walmart grocery delivery.
Ron got up, we talked for a while. He drank some but was reasonable. I got my text that the guy was on the way.
He came, brought everything in the garage, and saw the cats. He asked if I had any puppies. I told him about our local shelter, they do great work. He took the information down. Nice to know I probably saved a dog's life today.
I put everything in the house. It is a good thing I got more kitten food, these guys are eating a lot. Spotty in particular, he has a very intent mannerism when he eats that reminds me of Bubba.
I was feeling better so I put on my shoes, went outside, and visited with the cats for a while, then took a walk.
I was chased by an ice cream truck for a good half mile. I found that very funny. I didn't have any cash on me even if I wanted to buy something (I didn't). It is so hot all I want is some yogurt.
I saw a creepy old man at the park. He lives near the park and likes to stand in his driveway staring at the surroundings for hours at a time, particularly when the kids are coming home from school, which I personally find disturbing. But he is pretty frail looking so I doubt he could abduct or molest anyone. This time, though, he had gone to the park and stood in the middle of the jogging trail. I played "chicken" with him and he got out of the way. But he just stood there, off to the side, staring vacantly.
I know he gets Meals on Wheels (I have seen the truck) but I think he needs more help, maybe a day program. But I am up to my eyeballs in caregiving right now and NOT going to get involved. His "meals" volunteer can make a report to social services if he declines. That's one reason they do the program.
I had a good walk in spite of him and the ice cream truck. It was very hot and I got sweaty but I don't mind working out. Once I get started.
I checked the mail, came home, and played with the cats, got some photos. I love how they are "owning" my porch. I do need to get that mother fixed.
You can see she is tiny in comparison to her kittens, she is so friendly she must have been someone's pet, probably thrown out when she got pregnant. A lot of people drop animals in our subdivision because most of the houses are very nice and we are not far from the freeway. Some animals get dumped ON the freeway, I hear. Jerks.
Ron is having a bad day for pain and is opting for vodka instead of kratom. Not a good choice but I did ask him to be reasonable tonight.
I shouldn't have to ask, but there you have it.
That's it for now.
Edit: I did get him to take some Kratom.
Friday, July 19, 2019
So a random stranger yelled at me today
I don't know if I mentioned it but I had a talk with Ron about excessive drinking and my need for sleep. That he needed me for various things, there was only one of me, and it was very important I get something approaching adequate sleep. I said it was very tiresome loading him into bed repeatedly only to have him get so drunk he needed help back into bed. He said he understood and was quiet last night.
Today he was bragging to Chuck how he let me sleep and I said "That shouldn't be a special occasion, I should be getting enough sleep every night". Took the wind out of his sails but I felt it had to be noted. It should NOT be a BFD "Heather got her sleep".
I did get my shower, etc. I did not help Ron dress and he forgot to put on deodorant. Oh, well.
We went to work, stocked, did inventory. He had trouble with the sales tax so we did that later.
We had a good amount of time at work - I made the trips, very pleased with myself. I can do a good job if necessary. We had a little bit of a wait and then finally outside to wait on our ride.
We are in a huge building, at least 30 acres indoor. It has huge signs. It even has a paratransit sign one maintenance guy made that looks just like a bus stop sign. We also have extraordinarily detailed notes, it could not be easier to find us. Now, years ago I would bitch because we had 2 parking lots and drivers always went to the wrong one. One of them is secure now, no entry without a badge, so if they want to park anywhere they have to come to where we are waiting. This guy wasted 10 minutes going up and down "I can't find it". When he did stop he was very obese. Not a problem. One of our helpers is a big guy and a good human being, but this guy couldn't stop snacking. It was incessant, he would finish one item, he would start another, he would take his eyes off the road looking in his bag of snacks and fumbling around for bottles of water. He veered out of his lane.
I'm riding in the death seat (front passenger) and I'm thinking about you guys and how I will relate this: it was so bad it was just on the edge of calling in a complaint. But I figured he would get in trouble for the late pickup.
We get to the bank and no one to help. Several assholes walked by, one stopped to watch the show of Ron trying to open the door until he got a look at my face. We went inside, no help. There are paramedics fussing over a man with a tiny cut on his finger. He cut it somehow and it bled, because he is on blood thinners "Two paper towels worth, and then I had them call 911". Talk about abusing the system. The one paramedic kept fawning over "the patient". I didn't have anything nice to say about the patient. Ron bled a lot when he was on blood thinners but you will never see me calling 911. The only time I did that he fell in the hot garage and couldn't get up.
Disgusted, I headed off to the business window. Ron has remarked the bank seems to cater exclusively to mexicans now, and I can't argue. There are a few blacks and the rare white, but it is almost all mexicans, their kids (they always bring their kids to the bank), jabbering in spanish, not opening the door for Ron, etc. The paramedic comes over, there is a family behind me with a baby in a carseat. His legs are sticking out several inches beyond the carseat, the paramedic is agitated and trying to tell them to get a proper carseat, the baby will get injured in an accident, but they play "no speaka" and the Mom makes a phone call. So they basically tell him to f*ck off and he leaves.
I finish the transaction and we go to the manager's desk, again. It is near where the paramedic is again "treating" the "patient" with a small alcohol wipe. I asked about the door, got the run around. I said "This is a problem, because all your customers are assholes who won't help open the door".
The paramedic gets all bent, comes over and lectures me about my language "Because there are kids (at the other end of the bank, and they don't speak English)". I told him they didn't speak English and I wasn't sorry for what I said, because anyone who refused to open a door for a cripple, is an asshole. Ron apologized "If her language offended you" and the guy got all nasty and said I needed to apologize.
I don't have to do a f*cking thing for you. What are you, the freaking language police? You should be more upset about those parents dragging that kid around in the substandard carseat, and the fact that Ron, Heather, and the employees are the only ones speaking English!
Ron had messed up his cell phone and wanted to go to the store to fix it. He had called Chuck, who was on the way, so we waited on the couch (I did, he stayed in his wheelchair). Chuck came about the same time as the armored truck. The armored truck always hogs the wheelchair ramp so we had to wait.
It was surprisingly difficult to load Ron into the SUV. It is a more modest size, but Ron felt the lack of a hand grip and the floor was pretty high off the ground. I sort of did it Arturo style, waited until he got his butt on the seat and sort of rolled him in there.
I gave directions, we got there pretty quick. The clerk was unable to help, not for lack of trying. They had a Target in the same parking lot so I asked Ron if he would rather roll over there, or get in the car and drive. Ron said, as I suspected, roll. So I got a little exercise pushing him across the parking lot.
They had some Consumer Cellular phones, and one by a brand I really like (not a well known brand). I was pretty excited but they were all locked up and no way for Ron to demo. They probably lost a sale right there. I did get a brochure, Ron said he was tired and wanted to go home.
I bought a diet soda and we did. Mama cat and the babies were waiting on the porch, very cute. She was leery of Chuck (who has a dog) but came over later for some petting and attention.
I saw we had some packages on the porch. I got Ron in the house and then brought in Ron's refrigerator, a red egg not very large. He wanted something small, that's what he got. It is nice and light, too.
Ron said he would look at it after he figured out the sales tax, he got to work on that. I went back out front, Mama had eaten all the food - most likely she let the babies eat most and finished it, she is a very loving mother. I gave them some more food (they like about a cup and a half a day). I had a knife because I knew they would have taped the heck out of my kettlebell, and they did. It took some knife work with an interested cat looking on, got the first box, got the second box, and there it is in bubble wrap. The handle was underneath so I had to turn it over and pick it up.
HEAVY. Well, that's sort of the idea. I put it on my rack in the garage, I am about out of room. I am not "up to" a 35 pound kettle bell yet but I will be, I'm working with a 30 right now. It is nice to know it's there, when I'm ready.
By this time Ron had finished the sales tax so I filled that out. He admitted he is having some memory problems, we will figure it out. I will be happy to stand by him as long as he is good to me.
I got dressed in my workout clothes and did 10 minutes on the bike. I was wearing my shoes still so I got my keys and checked the mail. And I finally got my heart rate tracker, I ordered it 2 months ago. I put it on my desk, took off my shoes, and did my kettle bell workout. I remembered to use the chalk when I got up to the heavy weights and it worked very well. I am glad I bought it, I would buy it again. It was a pretty good workout in spite of it being suffocatingly hot inside the garage. I did my stretching workout after, only about 7 minutes. I need to do more stretching and pairing it with kettlebells seems like a good match.
I took two salt tablets, and drank a Powerade.
I figured out my watch, got one band off and plugged it in to charge. I will take it off tomorrow and play with it. I can "sync" it with my phone but I am not interested in doing that. I just want my heart rate. We'll see how it goes. I am particularly interested for kettle bells because I have electrodes on my exercise bike (Ron bought used 13 years ago, a Proform, really good workhorse) but no way to easily check heart rate during kettlebells. I tend to take a longer rest than suggested because sometimes my heart is still pounding. It would be interesting to see if that is necessary.
I also did a grocery order: more Powerade, kitten food, wet food (the outside cats love mixed grill), litter, litter boxes (I figure I need at least 2 more, one back in Ron's room and one here in the computer room), milk, yogurt. It is too hot to cook.
I was thinking I am pretty much a lactovore in the summer, just a lot of dairy. That is fine, I think. I am getting plenty of protein.
I have just not been hungry today so I am not pressing the issue. Apparently I took my PM pills this morning, they are gone and I remember taking "my pills". I think. Anyway, I would be a real idiot to take another dose. If I didn't take them one day won't kill me. But I take a big dose of mood stabilizer, a seizure drug, and an antipsychotic at night. Not doubling up on that! I did take my morning pills when I found them.
Since I don't need to eat tonight I am not. It is nice. I have to eat so I can take my pills twice a day. Except today.
I have my breakfast stuff in the fridge for tomorrow. I still have some time before I have to go to bed, our pickup is pretty late for our usual schedule. I am used to pretty much a 6 am pickup. And I got all my Amazon stuff and Ron got his fridge. I got that rascal plugged in, put an iced tea and a pineapple cup for Ron. Hopefully it will earn a good rating.
And he paid me back for it.
Today he was bragging to Chuck how he let me sleep and I said "That shouldn't be a special occasion, I should be getting enough sleep every night". Took the wind out of his sails but I felt it had to be noted. It should NOT be a BFD "Heather got her sleep".
I did get my shower, etc. I did not help Ron dress and he forgot to put on deodorant. Oh, well.
We went to work, stocked, did inventory. He had trouble with the sales tax so we did that later.
We had a good amount of time at work - I made the trips, very pleased with myself. I can do a good job if necessary. We had a little bit of a wait and then finally outside to wait on our ride.
We are in a huge building, at least 30 acres indoor. It has huge signs. It even has a paratransit sign one maintenance guy made that looks just like a bus stop sign. We also have extraordinarily detailed notes, it could not be easier to find us. Now, years ago I would bitch because we had 2 parking lots and drivers always went to the wrong one. One of them is secure now, no entry without a badge, so if they want to park anywhere they have to come to where we are waiting. This guy wasted 10 minutes going up and down "I can't find it". When he did stop he was very obese. Not a problem. One of our helpers is a big guy and a good human being, but this guy couldn't stop snacking. It was incessant, he would finish one item, he would start another, he would take his eyes off the road looking in his bag of snacks and fumbling around for bottles of water. He veered out of his lane.
I'm riding in the death seat (front passenger) and I'm thinking about you guys and how I will relate this: it was so bad it was just on the edge of calling in a complaint. But I figured he would get in trouble for the late pickup.
We get to the bank and no one to help. Several assholes walked by, one stopped to watch the show of Ron trying to open the door until he got a look at my face. We went inside, no help. There are paramedics fussing over a man with a tiny cut on his finger. He cut it somehow and it bled, because he is on blood thinners "Two paper towels worth, and then I had them call 911". Talk about abusing the system. The one paramedic kept fawning over "the patient". I didn't have anything nice to say about the patient. Ron bled a lot when he was on blood thinners but you will never see me calling 911. The only time I did that he fell in the hot garage and couldn't get up.
Disgusted, I headed off to the business window. Ron has remarked the bank seems to cater exclusively to mexicans now, and I can't argue. There are a few blacks and the rare white, but it is almost all mexicans, their kids (they always bring their kids to the bank), jabbering in spanish, not opening the door for Ron, etc. The paramedic comes over, there is a family behind me with a baby in a carseat. His legs are sticking out several inches beyond the carseat, the paramedic is agitated and trying to tell them to get a proper carseat, the baby will get injured in an accident, but they play "no speaka" and the Mom makes a phone call. So they basically tell him to f*ck off and he leaves.
I finish the transaction and we go to the manager's desk, again. It is near where the paramedic is again "treating" the "patient" with a small alcohol wipe. I asked about the door, got the run around. I said "This is a problem, because all your customers are assholes who won't help open the door".
The paramedic gets all bent, comes over and lectures me about my language "Because there are kids (at the other end of the bank, and they don't speak English)". I told him they didn't speak English and I wasn't sorry for what I said, because anyone who refused to open a door for a cripple, is an asshole. Ron apologized "If her language offended you" and the guy got all nasty and said I needed to apologize.
I don't have to do a f*cking thing for you. What are you, the freaking language police? You should be more upset about those parents dragging that kid around in the substandard carseat, and the fact that Ron, Heather, and the employees are the only ones speaking English!
Ron had messed up his cell phone and wanted to go to the store to fix it. He had called Chuck, who was on the way, so we waited on the couch (I did, he stayed in his wheelchair). Chuck came about the same time as the armored truck. The armored truck always hogs the wheelchair ramp so we had to wait.
It was surprisingly difficult to load Ron into the SUV. It is a more modest size, but Ron felt the lack of a hand grip and the floor was pretty high off the ground. I sort of did it Arturo style, waited until he got his butt on the seat and sort of rolled him in there.
I gave directions, we got there pretty quick. The clerk was unable to help, not for lack of trying. They had a Target in the same parking lot so I asked Ron if he would rather roll over there, or get in the car and drive. Ron said, as I suspected, roll. So I got a little exercise pushing him across the parking lot.
They had some Consumer Cellular phones, and one by a brand I really like (not a well known brand). I was pretty excited but they were all locked up and no way for Ron to demo. They probably lost a sale right there. I did get a brochure, Ron said he was tired and wanted to go home.
I bought a diet soda and we did. Mama cat and the babies were waiting on the porch, very cute. She was leery of Chuck (who has a dog) but came over later for some petting and attention.
I saw we had some packages on the porch. I got Ron in the house and then brought in Ron's refrigerator, a red egg not very large. He wanted something small, that's what he got. It is nice and light, too.
Ron said he would look at it after he figured out the sales tax, he got to work on that. I went back out front, Mama had eaten all the food - most likely she let the babies eat most and finished it, she is a very loving mother. I gave them some more food (they like about a cup and a half a day). I had a knife because I knew they would have taped the heck out of my kettlebell, and they did. It took some knife work with an interested cat looking on, got the first box, got the second box, and there it is in bubble wrap. The handle was underneath so I had to turn it over and pick it up.
HEAVY. Well, that's sort of the idea. I put it on my rack in the garage, I am about out of room. I am not "up to" a 35 pound kettle bell yet but I will be, I'm working with a 30 right now. It is nice to know it's there, when I'm ready.
By this time Ron had finished the sales tax so I filled that out. He admitted he is having some memory problems, we will figure it out. I will be happy to stand by him as long as he is good to me.
I got dressed in my workout clothes and did 10 minutes on the bike. I was wearing my shoes still so I got my keys and checked the mail. And I finally got my heart rate tracker, I ordered it 2 months ago. I put it on my desk, took off my shoes, and did my kettle bell workout. I remembered to use the chalk when I got up to the heavy weights and it worked very well. I am glad I bought it, I would buy it again. It was a pretty good workout in spite of it being suffocatingly hot inside the garage. I did my stretching workout after, only about 7 minutes. I need to do more stretching and pairing it with kettlebells seems like a good match.
I took two salt tablets, and drank a Powerade.
I figured out my watch, got one band off and plugged it in to charge. I will take it off tomorrow and play with it. I can "sync" it with my phone but I am not interested in doing that. I just want my heart rate. We'll see how it goes. I am particularly interested for kettle bells because I have electrodes on my exercise bike (Ron bought used 13 years ago, a Proform, really good workhorse) but no way to easily check heart rate during kettlebells. I tend to take a longer rest than suggested because sometimes my heart is still pounding. It would be interesting to see if that is necessary.
I also did a grocery order: more Powerade, kitten food, wet food (the outside cats love mixed grill), litter, litter boxes (I figure I need at least 2 more, one back in Ron's room and one here in the computer room), milk, yogurt. It is too hot to cook.
I was thinking I am pretty much a lactovore in the summer, just a lot of dairy. That is fine, I think. I am getting plenty of protein.
I have just not been hungry today so I am not pressing the issue. Apparently I took my PM pills this morning, they are gone and I remember taking "my pills". I think. Anyway, I would be a real idiot to take another dose. If I didn't take them one day won't kill me. But I take a big dose of mood stabilizer, a seizure drug, and an antipsychotic at night. Not doubling up on that! I did take my morning pills when I found them.
Since I don't need to eat tonight I am not. It is nice. I have to eat so I can take my pills twice a day. Except today.
I have my breakfast stuff in the fridge for tomorrow. I still have some time before I have to go to bed, our pickup is pretty late for our usual schedule. I am used to pretty much a 6 am pickup. And I got all my Amazon stuff and Ron got his fridge. I got that rascal plugged in, put an iced tea and a pineapple cup for Ron. Hopefully it will earn a good rating.
And he paid me back for it.
Thursday, July 18, 2019
Thursday night
Ron put his phone in silent mode during one of his drunks, he can't figure it out. He has asked me to help several times, I tried, but no luck. I told him he needs to go to the cell phone store and have them fix it but I believe he is too embarrassed to do so. He recorded something about setting the volume for the ringer, which I did a couple of times, I told him that is done, it is something else. He is incredibly confused. He kept telling me to do irrational things like go in the "messages" menu. I finally told him I was DONE and would NOT be helping him any more.
HE did this, HE needs to fix it. He needs to call Chuck, or Arturo, and make a trip to the cell phone store "put his head on the ground" as he used to say, and admit "I got drunk and f*cked up my cell phone". If they even have anyone who understands his old dinosaur. Personally I am starting to think a senior-themed Jitterbug or something would be a better choice. Something that he CAN'T screw up because it is so freaking basic. Just a keypad, no menus.
He says he just fixed it. So he gets to avoid all the shame. I am still going to think about getting him to the Jitterbug store. I am getting MIGHTY sick of "saving" him when he's drunk, or makes a mistake when drunk.
My neighbor is doing yard care across the street but Mama cat and the kittens seem fine. Tomorrow I will see about getting them in the house, I will feel much safer. Spot almost came in, earlier.
Tomorrow will be busy but we need to get it all done. I have a date with my kettlebells first thing.
HE did this, HE needs to fix it. He needs to call Chuck, or Arturo, and make a trip to the cell phone store "put his head on the ground" as he used to say, and admit "I got drunk and f*cked up my cell phone". If they even have anyone who understands his old dinosaur. Personally I am starting to think a senior-themed Jitterbug or something would be a better choice. Something that he CAN'T screw up because it is so freaking basic. Just a keypad, no menus.
He says he just fixed it. So he gets to avoid all the shame. I am still going to think about getting him to the Jitterbug store. I am getting MIGHTY sick of "saving" him when he's drunk, or makes a mistake when drunk.
My neighbor is doing yard care across the street but Mama cat and the kittens seem fine. Tomorrow I will see about getting them in the house, I will feel much safer. Spot almost came in, earlier.
Tomorrow will be busy but we need to get it all done. I have a date with my kettlebells first thing.
Thursday afternoon
I got my shower, ate my protein and took my pills. I tried to lie down for a nap but Ron kept interrupting me. Last time was literally half a dozen times he wanted help adjusting in bed. I finally dragged him into a suitable position. I don't think you'll find that pull in the caregivers manual.
But I developed a headache while lying down, took some red elephant kratom for it, all the adjustments for Ron did not make it worse. Hopefully it will fizzle out now that I am getting a break from heavy lifting.
Opinions sought: should I tell Ron I will no longer help him get into bed if he is drunk? I am seriously considering it. He kept bugging me even when I had a migraine. This is something he can 100% control.
Caregiving really shows me who I am. I would love to see myself as this pure, selfless, hardworking, ready-on-demand martyr type. Always putting him first.
In reality I am resentful, bitter, frustrated. I get so upset when he drinks himself stupid and needs help with basic things like getting into bed. Especially if he hasn't bathed yet and I have to smell him as I handle him. I had to stick a hand in his armpit today. Not something I wanted to do.
So my illusions about being a wonderful person get stripped away, in addition to feeling like his "on demand, any time day or night caregiving assistant" bitch. At least my head IS feeling better. It seems Red Elephant works well enough on a moderate headache, just not the migraines.
All the cats are doing well. Spot is such a Mama's boy, he loves being close to her. I would really like to find him a good home but it will mean breaking them up. I do plan to find him a home with his littermate, Cleo the calico. I have got to save up and get the mother fixed, though. That is #1. She probably doesn't have long 'till her next heat. Keep her, rehome her, she still has to be fixed.
My guys are getting used to seeing her and the kittens on the porch, smelling Mama on my hands, and they don't growl or act aggressive. I am going to go drink a Diet Dr Pepper and see if I can finally squish this headache.
I did. I called my aunt, that's always a good thing, except the time she called me to tell me Dad was in the hospital, some years ago.
I went out and petted the cats a few times, and almost pet Spot. I sent my aunt some photos of the cats so she can see if anyone's interested in adopting. She will know people who can afford to take care of them.
I made a big bucket of diet raspberry lemonade. Drank the whole thing. Fed Ron, got a burrito into him.
I held the front door open for a while and Mama cat thought seriously about coming inside. I will feel a lot better when she does so I don't have to worry about their safety.
I took an MSM tablet, supposed to be good for joints, take on an empty stomach. I will be doing kettle bells tomorrow so it will be a good chance to see how it works.
At work, we have to do sales tax and pretty much done except for stocking, for a few weeks. Next week I plan to go to the eye place and get an exam, I need a stronger prescription. I am having trouble with fine print.
After that I need to get my filling done. I hate the chair though. I do have money saved for both. The eye place said they would do an exam and two standard bifocals for $100. Fillings tend to run about $100 with my discount plan.
I probably need to see if Ron wants a soda. I would rather give him milk but he won't drink it. And I need to figure out dinner for myself, probably a chicken parmesan. It comes with a nice amount of pasta and not to horrible on the "macros".
Not that I track my food.
But I developed a headache while lying down, took some red elephant kratom for it, all the adjustments for Ron did not make it worse. Hopefully it will fizzle out now that I am getting a break from heavy lifting.
Opinions sought: should I tell Ron I will no longer help him get into bed if he is drunk? I am seriously considering it. He kept bugging me even when I had a migraine. This is something he can 100% control.
Caregiving really shows me who I am. I would love to see myself as this pure, selfless, hardworking, ready-on-demand martyr type. Always putting him first.
In reality I am resentful, bitter, frustrated. I get so upset when he drinks himself stupid and needs help with basic things like getting into bed. Especially if he hasn't bathed yet and I have to smell him as I handle him. I had to stick a hand in his armpit today. Not something I wanted to do.
So my illusions about being a wonderful person get stripped away, in addition to feeling like his "on demand, any time day or night caregiving assistant" bitch. At least my head IS feeling better. It seems Red Elephant works well enough on a moderate headache, just not the migraines.
All the cats are doing well. Spot is such a Mama's boy, he loves being close to her. I would really like to find him a good home but it will mean breaking them up. I do plan to find him a home with his littermate, Cleo the calico. I have got to save up and get the mother fixed, though. That is #1. She probably doesn't have long 'till her next heat. Keep her, rehome her, she still has to be fixed.
My guys are getting used to seeing her and the kittens on the porch, smelling Mama on my hands, and they don't growl or act aggressive. I am going to go drink a Diet Dr Pepper and see if I can finally squish this headache.
I did. I called my aunt, that's always a good thing, except the time she called me to tell me Dad was in the hospital, some years ago.
I went out and petted the cats a few times, and almost pet Spot. I sent my aunt some photos of the cats so she can see if anyone's interested in adopting. She will know people who can afford to take care of them.
I made a big bucket of diet raspberry lemonade. Drank the whole thing. Fed Ron, got a burrito into him.
I held the front door open for a while and Mama cat thought seriously about coming inside. I will feel a lot better when she does so I don't have to worry about their safety.
I took an MSM tablet, supposed to be good for joints, take on an empty stomach. I will be doing kettle bells tomorrow so it will be a good chance to see how it works.
At work, we have to do sales tax and pretty much done except for stocking, for a few weeks. Next week I plan to go to the eye place and get an exam, I need a stronger prescription. I am having trouble with fine print.
After that I need to get my filling done. I hate the chair though. I do have money saved for both. The eye place said they would do an exam and two standard bifocals for $100. Fillings tend to run about $100 with my discount plan.
I probably need to see if Ron wants a soda. I would rather give him milk but he won't drink it. And I need to figure out dinner for myself, probably a chicken parmesan. It comes with a nice amount of pasta and not to horrible on the "macros".
Not that I track my food.
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