It's funny how things change on my medication. When I cry now, it's not for long, not a lot of tears, but very intense. I'm clear-headed, just very, very sad. I also feel vaguely guilty. I don't know why, I'm the only one who knows I'm crying. I'm very quiet.
Before, it would be for a while, buckets of tears, blowing my nose, and generally pretty hysterical. Sometimes I didn't even know why I was crying (because I have a mood disorder). I'd be pretty loud.
I was watching a video to one of my favorite songs and I just lost it crying. Basically the singer is crying out to God, and affirming his faith that God will save him. There go the waterworks.
I had an old rag - if I'm going to cry I love my old rags. I cried for a couple minutes. I can't honestly say I feel better because my situation is the same.
My husband is really messed up. I'm shouldering his work and mine, caring for him, and caring for myself. All done by someone who was supposed to be unable to live independently. I'm carrying a big load for anyone, not just an FAS, bipolar chick.
I keep my music on random shuffle, and when I started typing ELO's "Don't bring me down" started playing. I'm not going to dwell on it, but I realize it is OK to be sad sometimes.
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