185.5 - Popeye's

I lost another pound! It's great to see that I can still lose weight while under a lot of stress.

Ron still says all his food tastes terrible. He can, at least, drink some of the Atkins Shakes. He says the dark chocolate and strawberry flavors are "good". That's HUGE for him. Everything else tastes so horrible he can barely gag down a bite or two.

Yesterday I realized - yet again - how horribly this antibiotic has affected him. He could barely pull his cart, much less load it (so I loaded and pulled the cart). He seems 20 years older. It's scary for me, I had hoped he'd be more vigorous by now. He's so weak. We can't even walk as fast as we used to. He can only move pretty slowly, gripping my elbow as I support him.

But I tell myself it's a matter of time. I'm still going to love him, no matter what. Heck, he came back from the dead for me! When he died at the scene of the accident, God showed him a scene that happened 2.5 years later. I was sitting in an examining room and my doctor was telling me I had to be put in a mental hospital because I was depressed. I was begging her not to do it. Ron said it made him very angry and he was yelling "She's not that bad! Leave her alone!" God told him, "This will happen to Heather. Do you want to stay here or go back (to living)?"

Ron elected to return. How can I show him any less love and devotion? Oh, and the doctor didn't hospitalize me. I was diagnosed, that day, with the bipolar disorder. I got an awesome doctor and the medication I need to have a good life and marriage. Ron takes care of me. I never worry about the utilities, my cell phone, or the mortgage payment. He's a wonderful boss - the best I've ever had, and a fantastic husband. He's a good father to the cats.

I'm going to be there for him. He's debilitated, but he's not beaten. Neither am I.

We're planning his celebration meal for when he can taste his food properly again. He wants to go to Popeyes and get their beans and rice. You got it, hun. I even told him I'll go anytime, in a taxi, if he'd like.

It's the least I can do.