I was hanging out at home with the cats, watching reruns on TV. I decided to check the work app and see what I was getting on my next paycheck.
And, lo and behold, coach has changed my schedule, I'm starting in 50 minutes.
I made it. I look awful but my clothes are clean and I don't stink. I was washing my vest so that didn't make it.
I have Tuesday off now.
It's not him but I avoid him.
I didn't know him well before the accident, after he was helpful with rides. When Ron came back he was grateful, took him out to dinner, etc. He started asking for money.
He would ask to "borrow" cash "for emergencies". One time he found out a coworker had her kids taken by CPS.
She drove an $80K SUV that was a gift, worked a full time job with benefits paying $20 an hour, ate all her meals out, had social security payments from her dead husband plus benefits for the children. Not a victim. Her in laws were worried about the kids so they made a call. CPS kept making visits and there was never any food. So they took the kids and gave them to the grandparents.
She went to Chuck and he brought her to our house, told Ron he had an emergency. "Borrowed" hundreds of dollars. He took her to a hotel and got adjoining rooms "In case she needed comforting". He was also very late paying us back.
"Something came up" he said as he ate out every day at Denny's. He didn't begin having food in the house "because I'll just eat it up".
He once drove through flood waters, damaging his truck, because "I wanted a Coke at Denny's". Speaking of Denny's he was banned from one because he offered a waitress money for sex.
He liked having sugar babies. I said once I wouldn't want to be with someone I had to pay, he said it was exciting that they hated it.
He borrowed a lot of cash one time. Ron told him money was very tight and all we had was the sales tax money. Chuck assured us he'd pay us back and stopped taking Ron's calls. We barely made the payment.
Then he called one night to say he had gone to a fancy Italian restaurant. Ron blew his stack, how could you go out to eat and you owe us $500?!
The next time Chuck came by he very sullenly informed me that "some people had to understand that things come up". I said, look at him. Ron's sitting in his wheelchair.
Ron decided then he was done with "loans" Chuck obviously saw as "gifts" and we would have a flat fee of $20 a trip with him.
I was done with Chuck long before Ron, but one time Chuck picked us up at Sam's club with a truckload of merchandise, took us to work, and then informed us the truck was unfit to drive. Ron was livid.
We stopped calling him, talked to Jack instead. Jack was a lovely family man and devoted to his wife.
I told a Postal worker Ron was dead the night he died. I called Chuck a few days later as he was always saying Ron was "his brother". Voicemail.
I got a 2 line text from him a few days later basically saying "good riddance".
Yes
Churches love to see and hear what I do, but most aren't so eager to have me in the congregation or passing out their business cards during a Bible Handout. Even the church that gave me (I've been told, I try not to count) a thousand Bibles eventually cut me off.
That's going to be interesting on judgement day, for them.
Gospel publishers are more understanding, I have good relationship with both Grace and Truth and World Missionary Press.
Jesus said new wine needed a new wineskin. So, for now, I'm freelance.
I haven't been very chatty lately, it's been a rough year.
Better, now, though and I have been doing a lot of outreach. God does use everything for good if you let Him.
I had some energy tonight, normally I am pretty wiped out on my Saturday. I made some pasta, drained and rinsed a can of black beans, some lemon pepper. It turned out pretty good. I just need to see if I get a headache tomorrow.
I'm coming to the conclusion my job is service every time I leave the house. It could be anyone. I had, this week, various homeless guys, many bus drivers, cashiers, food service workers, regular working people, a police officer.
I don't feel embarrassed about my evangelism tote. I like that I have tracts for pretty much any occasion, homeless outreach, first responder, refuting cults, etc, in addition to the done up candy bags and New Testaments.
I also find it funny; I battle pride. And I look like a homeless woman walking around with all my junk or pushing my "buggy". I see the way the people in the cars look at me, and, one horrifying day, a woman offered me a hot meal as I waited at the bus stop. She wouldn't believe I was an employed homeowner. She kept calling me "honey" and "you poor thing". I had to take out my wallet and show her my discount card for work.
My arm is telling me it's going to rain. No headache happily. I'm going to take a nap.
My recipients are asking for bottled water. I got a case today, it just fit in my cart. I just wanted the water and some fresh fruit. I love a cold, fresh, fruit salad on a hot day and they had some nice specials.
I generally get the same driver both ways when I get groceries. Today's driver was a ruggedly cute (I'm celibate, not dead), middle aged white man which is very unusual for the route. I told him I'd try to catch him on the way back.
He was surprised I did, and I laughed when I told him "When I get groceries I try to profile the driver, what kind of snacks they like. I have you pegged as a Dr Pepper man with sour cream and onion chips.". He laughed and said I was right as I gave him the bag. Store brands, not name brands, but they have never complained. I also had some fruit and a cold bottle of water.
Speaking of fruit I could use a banana. That's it for now!
One of the DJs on Walmart radio just loves the old song "listen to your heart".
I can't stand it, one day in particular solidified it. Ron had been awful the night before, refusing to let me sleep, extreme verbal abuse, acting like Mr Wrong.
I had a lot of talks with God about Ron and this day was no different. Basically I was Hosea.
I got into work that day and that song was playing on the other vendors radio.
AAAH!
Ron had an extreme head injury and it affected his language sometimes. He had temporal lobe damage which also led to his seizures. So he would say "orange" when he meant "spiced rum" and "black hole" instead of "urinal".
He had bowel issues several years before he died. We used to ride with a very chatty driver, not Ace, now and then. The guy kept us in the cab talking and couldn't take a hint. Ron almost had an accident. He begged me, in tears, to get him some sort of protection.
So I did. They had a pull up style he could manage himself. Occasionally I would find a soiled one in the trash. Once or twice he didn't wear them, had an issue, and threw the pants in the trash. I always made sure to keep the disposables stocked.
He didn't want to use the word diaper so I called them shorts. That led to some confusion was it the disposable or the apparel? So he called them companions.
I had to switch to a different style after he couldn't get out of bed anymore but we managed. I donated all that stuff really quick after he died.
I was pretty sick this morning with horrendous toilet issues. This can be a side effect of my medication and I'm sure not stopping that.
As it turns out my team lead drove by and saw me at the bus stop, came back, and took me to work. Now I just wait until 2!
What I do exactly for evangelism. God will reveal one day.
Anyway tonight I got pretty violently cussed out by an obviously unstable homeless man as part of my work. I was standing at the bus stop, he started bothering me. I said "Whatever the question the answer is no" He asked me another question I said no. He didn't like that. But 4 people got the Gospel because I was out there tonight.
Nothing is going to happen outside of God's will and He can use anything for good.
Ron, like a lot of bed bound patients, had serious constipation issues which he found very upsetting. My journal for the last year of his life (I'll upload a page or two sometime) is a breathless account of food given, laxatives administered, and the results.
We tried just about everything available. Miralax. Exlax. Everything in between. I'll save you the trouble, Colace and the occasional glycerin suppository. And that stuff was expensive so I have a whole row of very nasty business in my medicine cabinet. I have never needed to use that stuff but I still keep it because it's expensive
I do wonder what visitors must think.
I had a good night last night, I had lots of tracts all boxed up in my mailbox. I also had my $30 jury duty check. I had loads of fun unboxing them and putting them away.
I got some tailored more for outliers and some I think have a nice bus driver angle. I had a lot of tracts done up already so I only did a few. I read like and respect the guys at Grace and Truth.
It is interesting some of the hassles I have. My observation the homeless and drug addicts have 3 categories for people: marks, nos, and neutral. Unfortunately my ministry gets me lumped in the Marks category, they think I can be manipulated into (ultimately) giving them money and cigarettes which is not going to happen. I butt heads occasionally with people whining at me or demanding my personal things ("I could really use a nice backpack like that") . It's one reason I don't eat on the bus
The other being it's not sanitary but Metro has been making an obvious push to fix that, including pressure washing bus stops with a bleach solution as needed. Kudos on that!
I have a mild to moderate headache so I'm going to go take an Excedrin before I clock in.
I don't know about others with my illness but it became untenable when I hit puberty. I was simply, extremely depressed. I had Kaiser coverage and they had me in group therapy. It didn't help. My counselor got a close up though, was extremely worried,and I got the coveted psychiatrist referral.
For some reason no medical professional actually saw what I had until I was 32.
Anyway the venerated expert put me on Prozac. It made me suicidal. Ever since, severe depressions have me suicidal. But not in over a decade which is pretty impressive when you consider what I've been through.
I ended up in a hospital for a month. Even then they didn't want to let me go, but my insurance ran out. They didn't connect the dots and kept me on 40 mg Prozac a day for 3 more years. It wasn't easy.
I was in weekly counseling paid for by Dad. A while ago I calculated what he spent could have been a good college education.
That's it for now.
I call them recipients, anyone I share the Gospel with in any way. I am happy to report they're a wide section of society.
When I was about 8 they had a nice little ceremony at Church and gave me a lovely hardbound Bible. When I was about 10 a lady at church prophesied (and Presbyterians don't do that!) said I would be a missionary. My parents figured she was off her meds but her I am, thousands served.
When I was about 14 a Gideon gave me a pocket Bible. He was very solemn, wearing a suit.
When I was about 19 and working one of my customers gave me a tract. She was very anxious about it and pushed it on me even after I said I was saved.
A while after I started the evangelism I encountered some Jehovah's witnesses at a bus stop. The one lady kept trying to give me literature and wouldn't take no for an answer, then got a major attitude.
I realized God was using this as an example. So I offer, if they say no I smile and put it away. If they say something like "I don't eat sugar" I might've bring them a cold bottle of water next time. If I'm doing a Handout I move on, and many times the Holy Spirit worked on them and they called me back, or drove back.
At any rate while I've got you here could you please pray for my recipients? And my safety and health? Thank you!
I'm going to list the ones I remember. He told me he had ex girlfriends try to kill him on 3 occasions. One time he overdosed on LSD attempting suicide ( before he met me and he only told me about it a few years before he died). He swore he met God and was very convicted of his sins.
He was talking on his ham radio on a local repeater one day and preparing to cross a busy street. Another ham saw him and told him to wait while he parked. Ron heard a horrible t bone accident in the middle of the intersection right where he would have crossed.
Another time his other woman asked him to escort her to her bank which was about a block past Ron's bank. There was a bank robbery in Ron's bank, complete with gunfire, when Ron would have been cashing his own paycheck. He was very shaken up.
Of course he actually died in the accident. I don't know how many times he almost died before they sent him home. He wasn't feeling well about a month after he got home, I took him to the ER. He had blood clots in his legs, and a pericardial effusion, either of which should have killed him.
There was the time the house filled up with carbon monoxide due to a faulty vent pipe, could have killed both of us. Some neat miss car accidents. Another blood clot.
You get the idea. That's why I knew it really was time to let him go.
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=dGawgRPqr5Q&si=NpLCBiwftGt4ghzs
I had given Cleo up for dead. She was gone for months. It's a longer story I won't share but I finally gave up hope a few weeks back.
I made a pork roast in the crock pot yesterday while at work. It turned out very good. I was deconstructing it and taking out the waste. I opened my trash can when I heard her meow. I looked, it was her. She wouldn't me touch her.
I went in the house, Spotty was throwing himself at the door trying to get to her. She let him approach her while I got a can of her favorite wet food.
I took a photo, kept peeping at them for a while, went to bed.
A cat got in bed with me last night, I gave it cuddles, petting, and I think a few kisses. I woke up and it was Cleo. She also got in my lap for a few minutes during my God Time and let me take her photo. Spotty won't stop grooming her he is thrilled to see her.
I am delighted, shocked. This is the first time something good has happened after a Bible Handout.
I avoid sharing a fair amount these days but I had to share this!
I got sunburned which hasn't happened before.
I had a very interesting encounter after I finished, an opportunist type trying to figure out an angle on me. He wandered off and came back, squinted at my cart, paled, screamed, and ran off. I have been asking God to make my protection visible and I believe He did!
I had a drug dealer come by to make an evaluation. I was cheerful and offered him a Bible, when he said no I said "I'm still gonna pray for you, boss". And I will. I count someone like that as a recipient.
I had a lot of family, and even more endearing, parents and grandparents who wanted a Bible for the kids.
I wasn't able to do much this weekend but I got that.
I've done pretty well using just my phone. I am one of those people, I do this on the phone, that on the laptop, check my email and do my Bible study on the tablet (from Amazon, Dad gave it to me before Ron died I believe).
But the laptop died so it's the phone for everything as that's the only survivor with my Google account. I did put Facebook lite on my tablet. Phone for blog, etc.
I was worried about using it for bill paying but I have had any issues.
Typing is a pain though.
Immigration reform has adversely affected staffing at my store, I was asked to stay late last night, with the promise of a ride. I did got the ride. Made an extra $25 or so as well.
I went to bed around 1 am and woke up at 7. I did my God time. Spotty was so cute in my bed I went back to sleep for another hour or so. I got up, took my shower, went to the store.
I forgot tomorrow is a feast day. Every family in Houston is doing a BBQ and large meal tomorrow, and they needed the fixings.
The store has very low prices and is always packed. It was especially bad today. They didn't have "my" candy but they had another one that works. I also got ziplocks for the candy and what I call "cat plates": disposable foam plates. I put the wet food on those and throw them away when they're finished. Biscuit in particular used to get very excited when he saw a cat plate in my hand.
Happy has been in the house all day. I guess I do have another boy. I am hoping to get him neutered when my aunt visits next month.
I am planning a Bible Handout tomorrow. I ate a small bag of plain chips at the bus stop today and developed a nasty headache on my way home.
I had to take care of some phone business after I put up the groceries and then I took a nap. It didn't help much.
I have some hives so I took a Zyrtec. The headache is better. Not great though.
My arm was bothering me a little earlier so I think it's going to rain later. My arm has been a pretty reliable predictor.
That's it for now!
Last time they settled last minute; same today.
I did manage to do some outreach and Ace made some good money. I was very encouraged his phone was blowing up with one request after another. He came right on time and was only 20 minutes off when I called to come home. I was home by 3.
The boy cats are enjoying the extra time today.
The court gave me papers and apparently Walmart will pay me for today.
That's it for now
I woke up at 2, very alert. I've learned it's better to just get up, if I went back to sleep I'd just be groggy when the alarm went off.
I fed Spotty and got some nice cuddles. I haven't seen Happy yet.
I got some Amla oil at the import market last weekend. I applied that before I went to bed and "washed" it out with conditioner when I got up. I had a lot more natural curl. Henna can loosen curl, some women like that but I like having wavy hair.
I'll know more when it dries, but my hair does have a nice color. I am a little worried it will look greasy. I don't use shampoo for a few days after a henna treatment and "wash" with conditioner.
It's going to be an interesting day for weather. Severe weather morning and evening, extreme heat as well.
Work shouldn't be too crazy. I can't say much else.
One of my friends sent me a gift. I used some of it for Handout stuff and also bought myself 2 pairs of work shoes (with inserts). I got some "cute" shoes a few months ago but they were a standard width, which is too narrow for me, long term. I can wear them now and then but not every day. These, I can.
That's it for now!
I did develop the customary headache so I'm going to bed.
It's been a pretty quiet day. The lady in #2 was looking for Happy today and asked me if I'd seen him. I said yes, I have a cat door, he was on my couch a while ago. He's not her cat. She was clear on that.
I gave her the secret weapon and told her his favorite food.
It's nice to have neighbors looking out for my cats.
I think this is funny/interesting but that's it.
Pretty much what I said in the title. I tend to notice when clean cut white guys get on the bus, much less one carrying and reading a Bible.
When he got on today I said hello, gave him a bag of candy, we talked evangelism and a little faith. We exchanged first names. He knows where I work he heard me saying goodbye to the driver.
I am a confirmed Presbyterian. He is not. I might recruit him for a Bible Handout sometime if I see him again.
I am committed to ministry, if God wants someone in my life He'll have to make it very clear. It was nice to talk to another committed evangelist.
Looks? About my age, clean cut, healthy weight which is NOTABLE in Houston.
Interesting.
I have a sweet little boy curled up with me on the couch. No question about it 🥰 he is a little love bug. He isn't Cleo, Biscuit, Torbie, Baby Girl, Bubba, Frosty, Scrawny, or the rest but he's a good boy. He had a very soothing presence.
The 85 bus has had a lot of problems this week. If I remember I'm going to ask if the fire on Gulf Bank affected the route.
I woke up at 3. I had done up care packages for the drivers with a little note saying goodbye. I had meant to hand them out yesterday but I was sick. Since I was already up I went out and met them today.
I got a few groceries on my way home. I plan to make a veggie stew tomorrow before work. If it's good I'll tell you more about it.
That's it for now!
I have been in denial for a while.
I am certain the pest is going to "show her color" on Facebook. Some of my friends don't understand what I've dealt with. Maybe this will help them understand. Biscuits death featured many spam photos and videos of dead and tortured cats.
I needed a day to myself. Chief Snitch is unsympathetic at best. When I was injured she told everyone I fell because I was drunk. Said it right in front of me! When Biscuit died she said "You have other cats"
She knows I don't drink ever. I really was sick this morning - I did need the day to myself. I just need some time to nurse my battered heart.
I'm going to try to lure Spotty into a cuddle.
Generally when I hear that, it's trouble. And it takes a little time for the customer to put in the complaint. The customer thinks it time well spent.
But what if the associate is doing a good job? Very few people will take time out of their day to put in a compliment.
I had a compliment last week. It only took a few minutes out of the customers day, but it made her happy, me happy, and my boss happy.
I would only suggest you start the conversation with "You've been wonderful, can I tell your boss?".
I think it does an amazing job. I'd be happy if I woke up at my goal weight one day but I'm not stressing about it.
I ask a lot of it, I have a brutal schedule, hours on my feet, miles of walking even on my days off. I have had a fantastic recovery from my arm injury.
My mind as well, battling what I do. It doesn't ask for much.
Yesterday I basically spent the whole day napping. This morning I got up at about 3.
It's my preference to get up 3 hours before I need to leave, that way I'm not rushed. I think it is very important to equip myself with prayer and Bible study before I walk out the door, not to mention it takes a while to do up the outreach - I want to be led on that.
So about 4 am found me in the shower, violently nauseous. I went to work like that last week and it was a terrible day. I couldn't face that again. So I called out and went back to bed.
I feel a little better; I don't regret the choice. That's it for now.
