I was battling another depression recently and decided to knit and watch "Ghost Whisperer" tonight. I experimented with a variation of my pumpkin pudding (not horrible, not delicious).

As I sat there watching the actress bring "closure" to all the families, it dawned on me that I, also, have some things to say. Why not say the public things?

So what do I plan to do? First, I have to say that while I woke up depressed, after 3 lithium total today I feel great, a little draggy but "good" overall. I know, that as a child of God, He has plans for me and I'm not to meddle with them. So I don't.

I do have a blue flash drive. I keep it on my computer desk. I will be writing letters for people.

I would also like to create a slideshow with photos and the tune "Don't you forget about me".

I would want people to know, that while I carried burdens, Jesus was with me every step of the way. I would like the "Footprints" poem put in the bulletin. I would want people to know that I loved my life and I LIVED it a thousand percent.

I really only got my sanity a few years ago, but how I've enjoyed interacting with people! I've loved my husband, my family, and freinds. While I complained about it more than once, I loved my body too. It has served me WELL.

I've loved blogging my thoughts and feelings, and I've loved everyone who's responded. I love God and I am honored He chose me to hand out Bibles to everyone I meet.

When I die, I don't want flowers. Send the money to an evangelism program, like Open Doors, Gospel for Asia, or the Gideons. I'm gone - I don't need tokens to know I was loved.

If you are craft-inclined, knit or crochet a Linus blanket for a child in need. Donate teddy bears to the fire department or paramedics to hand out to children. Buy a case of paperback Bibles and hand them out, or leave them out in the breakroom with a "Please take me home!" note.

I don't want a circus-styled funeral. Fax a notice to Yellow Cab and Metrolift - "Heather ___ has gone to Jesus, memorial service ___ at ____". Put up a note at work - in fact, print this up also. Rent a hall, get some cake (chocolate and vanilla!), and fill up a punchbowl. Hand out sodas if you want. Show my slideshow, maybe read a poem or two. Read the Bible Passage "We live by faith, not by sight" - one of Paul's passages about "Away from the Body, at Home with the Lord". Emphasize a salvation message and the fact that I got saved at age 8. While I never lived a perfect life, my sins are forgiven me through grace.

Please. If you want to cry, cry, but realize I am home.