Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Because I can only wear one at a time

I've been sorting through my "closet", pruning out clothes I don't want.  I think I already discussed this. 

I gave away a lot of my smaller size fitness wear.  It will take a lot of fitness clothing in my current size before I'll fit into that, and someone can use it right now, get rid of that last 20 pounds.  I also had a lot of things I bought while manic. 

When I'm manic, I have no sense of taste.  I have bought slutty things, things in colors I hated, clothing styles I never wear, etc.  Sometimes more than one category.  Then I got it home, my mood switched, and I was left standing in front of my closet saying "What have I done?" 

Happily, while sorting through my pants (I have lots of 22W), I found some 20W.  This morning I tried them on and they all fit.  Great.  That saved me about $50.  One pair of jeans, two pair of capris.  The capris are black. 

I was discussing this with Ron and told him I was wondering if I needed another pair of capris "Because I can only wear one at a time", and he was horrified.  Of course I did, and he would buy it for me.  Well, if I do they will be denim blue. 

I wear capris about 9 months out of the year, so I feel fine about having 3 pair.  One pair of jeans in a 20 W is plenty for me.  Winter is almost over anyway. 

I slept pretty well and woke up a little before the alarm. 

I try to be respectful of the neighbor's privacy.  I know some of their professions, all of their working hours.  I know who is home at any given moment, who has a dog, etc.  Some people would use that information for bad purposes, so I don't share it. 

I wouldn't want someone talking about my details.  I try to protect them. 

I will say, however, that #6 is in a supervisory job.  Apparently one of his employees came over right after I woke up, around 7:30, and they had a talk.  The guy visiting had a nasty wet cough. 

The only good thing I can say about Sickie is I didn't hear him spit.  He was saying things like "Yessir" to #6. 

I was annoyed they were having this discussion outside my bedroom and not in his home.  Or, in his driveway away from my bedroom!  All I could say was, well, I get up early anyway (generally around 7 on a day off). 

Now, #6 may have assumed we left when we normally did (I'm not going to share that information), and weren't around anyway, but still, I felt - rude. 

On that note I decided to do my God Time.  I did that (part of which involved praying for #6 [laugh] - I do everyday but especially when they annoy me in some fashion).  Then I tried on my pants and found the 20's fit great. 

Yay! 

I sat on the edge of the tub with the bath poof and some rich bodywash (not expensive, but very moisturizing).  I got out one of my 4 blade razors. 

We are making a little more money than we were back in 2012, for instance.  I have seen very few changes, other than modest new "screens" (TV and monitor), the occasional bar of artisanal soap, and a 4 blade name brand razor instead of generic 2 blade pink ones.  I also use Tide, occasionally, for laundry detergent when Ron's made a mess, instead of generic brands.  The cats have always eaten name brand grain free cat food, regardless of finances. 

I try to be a good steward. 

Anyway, I shaved my lower legs and was pretty happy with the result.  I think I will continue to "do" my legs like that instead of upright in the shower.  I got in the shower and took the full shower. 

I did use the "luxury" body wash because my skin has been rather dry lately.

My hair is waist length.  Generally I just use a shampoo and not a conditioner.  My hair can get pretty frizzy in the humidity regardless of what I use, so my main focus is keeping it clean and out of my face.  I have a whole bowl of hair elastics and pull it back every day when it is dry, or nearly so. 

I have considered cutting my hair to chin length.  The henna red is growing out, leaving me with graying brown roots.  I'm fine with the roots, but a little sick of the henna.  I think maybe I should just cut it off and leave it in a bob. 

But then I think, wasn't the bob kind of a late 90's hairstyle? 
Will it get in my face?  Anathema. 
I don't really care what others think as long as it works for me.  More than once, depressed and showering, I wished I could have my head completely.  Cleanup would be so easy every morning!
Ron just wants me to be happy with my hair. 

So, I consider it. 

I got out of the shower.  By now it was about time to leave.  I dressed in the 20W capris and was happy with the pockets - many women's pants have tiny pockets.  I carry a lot of stuff in my pockets, including my folding knife.  You wouldn't believe how much cardboard I recycle every day at work.  But it has to be cut up and mashed first. 

Sometimes, when I need help at work, feeling overwhelmed, and Ron is done: I ask him to smash the cardboard for me.  He is always happy to do it. 

The pants were very comfortable all day.  Good.  Sometimes it will fit but I feel very constricted.  That's not fitting. 

We went to Walmart.  I got some more blood sugar test strips and alcohol wipes.  I am logging my sugars every morning.  Unhappily they have been about 20 points above normal.  Not happy with that. 

I would like to get some Metformin and see if that will help.  I have heard the ideal fasting blood sugar is about 85.  100 is "normal".  125 is not. 

I will discuss it with my p-doc and then my regular doctor if needed. 

I wanted to get the A1C test where you mail it off, and get results mailed back.  I thought that would be good for my appointment, but they don't do that anymore.  Instead they have a meter that reads it then and there. 

Not what I need.  But, I need to get my lithium level and chem panel done pretty soon (once a year), it would be easy enough to add an A1C onto that.  I remember last year my p-doc was bothered because the fasting number was 104.  Well, it's worse. 

I am working on that through diet but antidepressants and antipsychotics play hell with blood sugar control.  I venture to say you can find a lot of diabetic crazy people running around. 

After I did that, I got more razors, and then I went and looked at t-shirts.  Walmart has a lot of cotton/poly blend.  I am not really interested in them.  I did get a couple of purple t-shirts, one of which purports to have temperature control.  Then I got a 4 pack of "dry wick" black pocket t-shirts.  I was surprised to see I don't really have a lot of black at home. 

I got a brown heather, two purple heather (one light, one dark), a navy, and the 4 pack of black tshirts.  I was happy, that's plenty.  And, unlike pants, shirts are a lot more flexible with weight loss.  I feel more comfortable in a baggier shirt as opposed to a snug fit. 

Maybe it's because I was flat-chested most of my life, and now I have a bigger chest due to the antipsychotics.  I'm not accustomed to getting a lot of attention and it makes me uncomfortable.  Ron's lechery is one thing.  Another man's is uncomfortable. 

Which has also led to the purchase of padded bras today because some men seem to require them.  Some men at least will gape like a 12 year old boy if they get a hint of a nipple, and become pretty offensive in the process. 

So I bought a cheap ($4) padded underwire bra.  I also got a cute pink cotton one for $6 for when that guy isn't around.  It makes me mad.  It's bad enough I have to wear a bra.  Now I have to wear a padded one in a Houston summer because you can't control your gonads?  Ugh. 

I also bought a new package of underwear ($15 for 10) to celebrate my weight loss and closet purge, and because some of the elastic is unraveling on my current collection.  I tend to only buy new things when the old one is falling apart. 

"Now" I told Ron, meaning it "I'm done for the summer, except for that 1 pair of capris" (and, I do want to get some knit shorts - 2 pair I think). 

I went cruising and decided to buy some more hot dogs.  The old ones were eaten and didn't cause weight gain.  I hate to waste food or sabotage weight loss, so I'm happy.  I also got a block of cheese and a TV dinner, a cheap one (84 cents) to keep it all cold. 

Ron got some snack foods.  Now, I would have LOVED a bag of chips a day, but I didn't buy anything.  I figure, if I'm hungry I can eat what I have in the fridge. 

Right now I am craving, and plan to consume the nonfat vanilla greek yogurt and maybe a hot dog. 

We came home, and I took a nap.  I had some odd dreams I don't remember. 

Ron recently changed the cable package.  We get "Streampix" now, free movies on demand.  The new package costs less than the old one did. 

Ron watched a romantic comedy but didn't understand some of the interaction.  It was visual and he hasn't turned on the visual descriptive service.  I watched it with him.  It was a lot better than the thing he had me watch last night, which was totally depressing. 

This was a mostly cute romantic comedy with a very weird trailer at the end.  I worked on the laundry, I have 3 loads. 

I tend to wash everything together and some of my socks were kind of gray.  So I did a lot of just whites with some bleach.  They look a lot better now. 

Then I'm doing my mixed load with the colors.  Last, the blacks, the navy shirt, and the denim jeans.  Those will go in the black preserver load.  I also found a pair of Ron's black twill slacks in the dyer, they had some white lint on them, so I will rewash them with the black load. 

My hope is to get all this done before work tomorrow.  The whites are done, the mixed are on the spin cycle right now in the washer, and the blacks are dirty. 

So to speak. 

I adore my washer, it is very old and has one glitch, sometimes it doesn't spin.  I had to reset it just now.  But considering the items are all light knit cotton items, they should dry up pretty quick. 

I plan to wear the brown heather to work tomorrow.  Funny because I have brown hair and I'm Heather. 

It will be my private inside joke. 

Then, 30 years from now, I can wear gray heather to work and be gray Heather.  All things considered, though, I'm a lot less gray than I expected to be at this age. 

I found my first gray hair on my 21st birthday.  I have been told my birthmother started going gray at an early age, my entire childhood she dyed her hair blonde.  Probably one reason I would dye my hair any color but blonde. 

So, I'd have figured, 20 years later, I'd be completely gray, but really it's only about 40%.  Not bad.  My Dad did the salt and pepper look and it was fine for him but not a look I wanted.  Graying brown hair is just fine in my book.  Ron went from black to gray and now bald. 

It is funny to think he had mostly black hair (albeit a large bald spot) when we met, and now he has a frizz of gray hair surrounding a much larger bald spot. 

The cats are good, Biscuit and friends ate 2 cans of wet food today.  I hope it was just our cats. 

That's the problem with a cat door (cat flap): you never know just what animals are entering the door and visiting while you're asleep.  And mine's in my bedroom! 






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