Salt Fiend

Well, I figured out the nausea thing.  I stopped taking all my toxic stuff together and broke it up again.  Antidepressant, morning.  Everything else, afternoon. 

It worked. 

I slept horribly.  One of the neighbors had a party, but they did turn down the music when asked.  I don't know why, but I was just really restless, paranoid, borderline hallucinations - just miserable.  I decided to go ahead and take my shower at night, so I wouldn't have to get up early to do it this morning.  I did that, towel dried my hair, and went to bed. 

I tried.  I did not sleep well, and when I did I had horrific nightmares that reminded me of my time prior to medication.  I even went and talked to Ron, who was awake.  He asked me to tell him about the nightmare. 

As near as I could recall, at the end of it I was fighting off some kind of demon zombie baby, being held by someone.  It kept reaching in my mouth as I tried to fight it off. 

I deliberately try not to remember my weird dreams and nightmares.  I do have recurring dreams about a complex apartment development, or living in a home and discovering a pool in the yard.  Those, I don't mind. 

Anyway, I slept badly and skipped my God Time.  I barely got dressed and groomed. 

We went to the warehouse.  I got Ron's drinks, all of them.  I deliberated for a while over pastry and selected 2 cases each of powdered sugar and chocolate donuts.  I got cupcakes (the chocolate cake kind with the white filling and icing on top), cinnamon rolls, and honey buns.  That'll hold me for a bit. 

Then onto candy.  I got Nestle Crunch and Hershey for the "chocolate bar".  I had Snickers.  I got Peanut M&M's, Butterfingers, Twix, and already had Baby Ruth.  I asked Ron for suggestions - Payday.  So I got them too. 

I want to have a good variety that appeals to almost everyone. 

I also got some chips, crackers, and cookies.  I got Veggie Chips, which Ron and I sampled.  I think they need more salt but I'm a salt fiend.  Ron found he liked them, much to his surprise. 

I found my guy after checking out, and we got the truck loaded.  I had a hot flash while working and the poor guy thought I was about to die.  He kept scolding me to sit down.  I kept trying to tell him it's just a hot flash, I'm fine.  I was barely breathing hard, but my face was red (I'm sure) and I was sweating profusely. 

Remember, I ran a half marathon and did powerlifting.  I know my body pretty well.  I was fine.  But he wouldn't have it. 

"I forgot" I said after he left "Texas men are very protective of Texas women." 

I had, of course, already loaded Ron's wheelchair. 

We went to work.  I got the carts (all 3 of them) and unloaded the truck.  Ron crawled in the truck bed and pushed the snack items forward, so I could reach them.  It worked well for both of us.  Ron got to "help" without harming himself and I didn't have to get in the truck bed - something I hate. 

I helped Ron, stocked, and paid the water bill.  I put up what inventory I could and left the rest on the carts.  Ron mashed down the cardboard in the dumpster. 

Finally time to go, I put up all the carts and the dumpster (when everything's in there, you might be able to fit a can of tuna in that area, but that's it!), and pushed Ron out to the bus stop. 

We had a good ride home.  I was pretty exhausted and a little hallucinatey again.  I kept hearing things that might or might not have been real, and just utterly exhausted. 

I begged God, if it was His will, to please let me get some rest.  I did.  I heard the neighbors leaving but that was it. 

I woke up right before Ron came home from the liquor store with 4 bottles of premixed Margaritas.  [sigh]  He knows, if he has a blackout, I will make a video and require him to watch it (once). 

He needs to realize what he is, drinking.  Not a person I can respect or value, when he's having a blackout.

I'm catching up on laundry now.  Watching a little TV.  We got pizza, which was delicious.

All the physical labor, and last night, has me pretty tired.  I'm praying I get some decent sleep.